Things Yet to Happen: Late Afternoon & Night Games

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Apologies for the light schedule this morning, after some bumbling around ye olde Barbershoppe, there's still time to look at this afternoon's games.

Fox Trot: Any minute now, depending on your corner of the continent, you will either watch sworn enemies from Flushing and Philadelphia battle for distant second place in the NL East. The more midwestern among us can feast on the Indians/Tigers tilt, possibly featuring the big league debut of Matt "From the Window to the Wall" LaPorta. Aaron Laffey versus Zach Miner could be a Central duel for years to come. In fact, I shall anoint it today's Duel of the Day! No chance does that come back to haunt me. Finally, the Braves and Astros will offer viewers a glimpse into the elaborate joke network sports can become when broadcast schedules are decided over Pinochle games and Glenlivet. The Giants and Rockies engaged in a soggy pitchers duel last night so we will reward them with an afternoon game in sunny San Fransisco. Click here for a live weather look-in.

Night Train's Runnin': Can the Rays stay on track against the suddenly slumping Red Sox? Who will free themselves from the Tough Luck Express in Milwaukee: Braden Looper or Dan Haren? I'm betting on a derailment. Can the Royals edge the Twins behind the erudite moundwork of Mr. Brian Bannister? How many bases will the Dodgers steal from Chris Young? For every base Manny steals, the denizens of Mannywood get to throw an armrest at their in-seat server.

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The network lucked out with an Oswalt/Jurrjens match up

I fear 2009 Roy Oswalt isn't the same man as 2005 Roy Oswalt. Writing meet wall.

I hopoe for today at least, that's the case.

This rain delay might knock him out of the game if it goes on too long though

Aaron Hill nearly costs the Jays the game only to homer to tie it up in the bottom of 10. Thanks George Sherril

Ollie Perez is fucking awful. Good job signing him and not Lowe.

Rule Number One: If you walk the opposing pitcher with the bases loaded, you suck.

Ass-Dribble! Ah-Choo! Cleveland brings you lots o' triples by guys with funny names.

Oliver Perez is the guy you tolerate for a season or so, but never, EVER sign to a long-term deal.


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