Third Place is Your Fired - The Saturday Morning Post

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It seems last night featured one collapsing closer after another. Most were quoted after the game as saying "don't talk about anything else, we don't wanna know!"

Royals 8, Orioles 1: GREINKE PARTY! Not even a three hour rain delay could deter the Royals faithful from spending time with their favorite son. Grienke delivered too, pitching 7 innings of one-run ball. The Royals got offense by facing Orioles pitching and scoring early. You got the sense after the Royals pushed across two runs in the first (after miscommunication in foul territory let an easy out drop) that this one was all but done. The Tigers got 5 ribbies each from Brandon Inge and Ryan Raburn in beating savagely on the A's. Edwin Jackson continued his surprising start with 7 innings of walk free baseball. I'm officially worried for the future of mankind.

Dodgers 6, Marlins 4: It took a while for the Dodgers offense to get going against Chris Volstad, but the tots came in bunches and the Dodgers are once again cruising. Casey Blake and pinch hitter Xavier Paul homered in the sixth inning to power the Dodgers offense. The Fish are losers of 5 in row. What should have been a Lincecum party in San Francisco turned into more unfortunate adventures from Twitter legend Brian Wilson. Wilson certainly didn't help his own cause by throwing a bunt into left field, taking an unearned run hit. More closer mayhem in Pittsburgh thanks to Matt Capps. 3 runs in the top of nine sent the Rockies past the Pirates,

Yankees 5, Twins 4: Joe Nathan, one of the closingest closers to ever close, couldn't close it out against the hot Yankee bats. Three runs plated in the ninth thanks to Nathan's two walks and three hits. Closin's hard! The Red Sox have a few Japanese players on their roster, but last night they learned not to mess with the finest of them all. Ichiro! hit two home runs, including the go-ahead runs in the sixth inning. The Jays beat the White Sox and the Rays came from way behind to beat the Indians because the non-Greinke Central is a wasteland of abject failure.

Elsewhere: Your first place Texas Rangers outlasted the Angels in a rare bad start from Joe Saunders. Ian Kinsler hit two more home runs but wonderlithe Derek Holland had his first bad big league outing. The NL Central was rained out while Nats and Phils used 15 pitchers in a twelve inning game. Exciting time!

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Your first place Texas Rangers
No thanks. You keep 'em.


Hey, wait a minute - my TV doesn't work!


That's my favorite Black Flag song. You're doing the Lord's work, my friend.

Heard that W's been bettin on the WalkerTexasClub
Cheney's boys been spotted 'round the opposing clubhouse...

I think TV Party is my third favorite Black Flag song. Nervous Breakdown and Rise Above aren't as Saturday morning friendly.

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