My only work injury this week was to my ego when my boss disapproved of a couple frames I was building and sent me back to the warehouse to haul some shit. DEMOTION.
- Tony Clark, Snakes: Clark sprained his wrist and landed on the deel. In his stead, Arizona has called up a gentleman named Josh Whitesell. Because they are racist.
- Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox: Youk has sat out the past three games after tweaking his oblique in Monday night's game against the Yankees. He seemed to place some of the blame on ESPN for starting the rain delayed contest on short notice. Maybe he should be a sports blogger. In any case you can't blame ESPN for the Year Of The Oblique.
- Derrek Lee, Cubs: Derrek Lee has a bulgin disc in his neck but says "It's impossible" that he'll end up on the DL. DERREK LEE IS DR. MANHATTAN HE CAN SEE THE FUTURE IN HIS MARS CASTLE. Either that or his neck doesn't really hurt that badly.
- Alex Gonzalez, Reds: Gonzalez, who missed all of last year with a knee injury, strained his oblique Monday night against the Marlins whilst flying out. Ctrl+Apple+O = "strained his oblique." Whoops, that just brought up a huge topless picture of Oprah. EMBARASSING.
- Carlos Guillen, Tigers: Guillen's right shoulder burst into flames, but he wasn't really hitting anyway. Plus, it allowed the tigers to call up Clete Thomas and MLB is just better when there's a guy named Clete involved. That's science.
- Oliver Perez, Mets: Two days after getting yanked out of the rotation, Ollie was dropped on the deel with a knee problem. Well, I guess that's one way to free up a roster spot since he won't go to the minors. Has there been a more phony injury yet this season? Teams can pretty much make up any reason they want to put a guy on there, huh?
- Rick Ankiel, Cardinals: Yeah, that'll put you on the DL for a few days.