What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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  • Conor Jackson, Snakes: Jackson was placed on the 15 day deel with "a general illness." It's a serious issue who's symptoms include general malaise, general nausea, General Motors and Sgt. Slaughter. He had been struggling as of late, but Arizona must take great pains with his treatment to ensure that he doesn't test positive for Dimetapp.

  • Adam Jones, Orioles: My second favorite Non-Boston AL East player strained his hamstring on Wednesday and had to leave the game. Best to rest those things on a quick player before they get too severe. This can weaken the structural integrity of the hamstring and cause it to snap whenever a player speeds up past walking. See: Ken Griffey Jr, for most of this decade.

  • Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox: Youk's oblique injury that we mentioned last week was bad enough to land him on the deel Tuesday night. He plans to spend his time off catching up on Grey's Anatomy repeats and finally making that triangle costume for his cat, Miss Penelope.

  • Joey Votto, Reds: Votto has been smacking the ball around, but left Wednesday night's game with dizziness. Prior to that game, he had suffered a bout with the flu and missed four games. He needs to stop hanging out with Conor Jackson. In Guadalajara.

  • Nate Robertson, Tigers: Robertson hurt his back while doing squats which sounds like it is 100% made up. He's on the DL but we need the real story here. Let's go to our Walkoff Walk Detroit Correspondent, Joh... oh, really? I guess we laid him off.

  • Josh Johnson, Marlins: Johnson left his start early on Wednesday with weakness in his right shoulder. He'd been the best pitcher on the Marlins up to this point and said there wasn't any pain in his shoulder, it just didn't feel right. He also told his shoulder "it's not you, it's me."

  • Brian Bannister, Royals: Man every pitcher I talked well about this week got hurt. Bannnister yanked himself* from his last start with stiffness** in his shoulder. Not good for that slipping squad.

  • Erik Bedard, Mariners: Bedard will miss his start against the Red Sox tomorrow with a tight hamstring. I hadn't said anything nice about him yet, but I was thinking about it. NOT NOW, WIMPY.

  • Ryan Ludwick, Cardinals: Ludwick hit the deel with a hamstring problem. It looks like, in one of the true upsets of this young season, Hamstring steals a week from Oblique as most ubiquitous injury. Way to go, Hamstring. You've earned it. People in STL are freaking out.



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We're not freaking out. Chris Carpenter will come back this home stand and OH MY GOD, WE ARE ALL FUCKED!1!!

Still recovering from "Just put down, `Papi stinks.'"

Nate Robertson just can't do squats and chew gum at the same time.

"My second favorite Non-Boston AL East player"

Marco Scutaro tops the list for an incredible 45th week!

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