What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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  • Chipper Jones, Omar Infante, Braves: Rub Chipper's bunions for him. He aggravated an existing one and says "I HAVE SWELLING ON THE JOINT ALREADY." He is questionable for their series with Toronto this weekend. Infante is not questionable, he's on the deel with a broken finger. This article refers to him as a versatile veteran which is also how I'd describe Regis Philbin and and Bob Vila.

  • Carlos Quentin, White Sox: Carlos also has trouble with los pies. The slugger has plantar fasciitis which used to be called plantar's warts I think. Between this and the bunions I hope you're not reading whilst eating.

  • Edinson Volquez, Joey Votto, Reds: That vaunted (by me) Reds rotation takes a hit, as Volquez lands on the deel with back spasms. His injury brings about one sure sign of summer. As sure as the opening of beaches, the starting of grills and the opening of lousy films, Homer Bailey will mark the start of the dog days with a disappointing call up. Go get em, Homes. Votto has an ear infection and will miss the last week of first grade.

  • Alfredo Amezaga, Marlins: It's rare to see this type of candor when speaking about injuries but Amezaga hit the deel this week due to a combination of a knee bruise and the fact that the Florida bullpen sucks. Refreshingly honest!

  • Rickie Weeks, Brewers: Now here's a guy that can't catch a break. Weeks has spent the past couple seasons alternating between being on the DL with a bum right wrist, and looking lost at the plate. He came into 2009 healthy and was off to his best start ever showing some real power at the plate. Alas, fate is cruel and he just had season ending surgery to repair a torn sheath in his left wrist. Poor bastard.

  • Glen Perkins, Twins: Perkins is on the 15 day with swelling in his elbow. It isn't believed to be serious and he'll only miss a couple of starts. It could even be a blessing in disguise, allowing Perkins some free time to work on his IPhone app that records your dreams.

  • Gary Sheffield, Mets: Sheff missed a few games with food poisoning. I thought the food at Citi was supposed to good.

  • Edgar Renteria, Giants: Lingering hamstring issues have kept Edgar out of the lineup for the past 4 games. Lingering jamon issues from Spain have kept Rob in the office bathroom since Tuesday.

  • Vicente Padilla, Rangers: Rob and I were discussing the rubber arms of Kevin Millwood and Vicente Padilla this week, whilst looking at the high number of innings and pitches that Rangers starters are throwing this season. Apparently Padilla's whole body aint made out of the stuff though. He's got a strain in the deltoid muscle behind his throwin shoulder. Whoops.

  • Don Baylor, Rockies: Raped by a wallaby.

  • Elijah Dukes, Nationals: Elijah landed on the DL this week with hamstring issues, bringing a whole new meaning to the term Voodoo Sabermetrics. Scary, y'all.

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10 Comments

Rob Iracane, Walkoff Walk: raked over the coals by a bunch of jerkhead 700 Level readers.

How is the Alfredo Almezaga tonight? What are the rest of your specials?

Must be difficult for CHIPPER to be sidelined by a condition normally associated with elderly women who are paying the piper for years of wearing heels.

Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Joey Votto has an ear infucktion?

(yes, I'm 12)

Looks like Rob can be added to the injury list if he ever makes it to Philadelphia. Cripes, those commenters make SuperMike look normal.

THE YANKEES ARE 2000 WS CHAMPS

"those commenters make SuperMike look normal."

Chief, let's not get carried away.

The link to Glenn Perkins' blogs is wack, yo. MLB can't handle the truth that GP be spittin.

My little brother was a year behind Perkins in high school and told me that he was a complete d-bag. My mom also teaches at the highschool and hisses everytime she hear's his name.

KRIS VALIDATED MY COMMENTING EXISTENCE ON ANOTHER POST I AM NOW HAPPIER THAN A CAT (stairs) IN A CATNIP (steroid and cheesesteak) FACTORY

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