Hey did you hear? Just a few months after the lowest-rated World Series since Philo Farnsworth patented the boob tube, television executives are scrambling because ratings are way down for baseball regular season games, too. Viewership for the Fox Saturday Game of the Week is off 9% since last season and 23% since 2000. Of course, you should ignore the fact that these ratings actually measure percentage of US households tuned into the sport and not total viewers.
Otherwise, that would actually imply that fewer people are watching baseball nowadays, which is just ridiculous. Ratings are down for every televised sports program that existed 30 years ago because of the explosion of cable and the proliferation of pogo stick jumping record attempts. People just have more choices, y'all!
But I digress. So does Bud Selig, who should be spending more time worrying about replacing foul poles with giant lasers that shoot off into infinity. Instead, he's putting on his television executive hat and solving that problem over there:
Fox Sports spokesman Lou D'Ermilio confirmed network executives will head to Milwaukee next week to strategize with Commissioner Bud Selig about reversing the downward trends. "The purpose of the meeting is to find a way to boost the ratings for the All-Star Game and the World Series," he said. Plans include showing baseball movies on Sunday afternoons on Fox's sister channel FX, and promotional ads with broadcasters Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.
"Well, Marge, I wasn't going to watch the MLB All Star Game but that FX channel showed that movie with the baseball-playing dog last Sunday and they had some funny commercials with Joe Buck and some old man with Alzheimers and an awful dyejob, so I reckon I'm gonna check this All Star thing out."