An Irish Airman Foresees His Death: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • Cubs at Tigers, 1:05PM EDT: It's so cold in the D. For the Cubs, that is. They stink on the road. The Teegers look for the sweep today behind a struggggggling Andres Galarraga. A freshly-shorn Magglio Ordonez looks to build on the two hits he had yesterday and force Leyland to play him every day.

  • Cardinals at Mets, 1:10PM EDT: Johan Santana versus Chris Carpenter is the matchup of the day, especially if you enjoy quality starts, Venezuelans and folks who went to high school with my brother-in-law. In Santana's only career start against the Cards last year, Albert Pujols smacked a solo tot but that was the only run allowed in a Johan complete game victory.

  • Twins at Brewers, 2:05PM EDT: This is the game that Sooze will glog for you. It is a rubber game and it is the Brewers pitcher Mike Burns' first career start. If you are stout of heart and strong of stomach, this game's for you. Will you accept the glog challenge that Sooze is laying down?

  • Royals at Astros, 2:05PM EDT: Brian Bannister and daytime games go together like freshly-cut basil and ripe tangy tomatoes. But don't go drizzling 15-year-old balsamic vinegar on Brian Bannister, he doesn't need the sweet, syrupy goodness to help him defeat the weak-hitting Astros. Banny's 15-5 during the day in his career and only 13-25 at night, and a win today will seal the sweep for KC. Brian Moehler still has a job, apparently.

  • Dodgers at White Sox, 2:05PM EDT: Ohmigod you guys, Manny Ramirez is coming back soon and what will the Dodgers do with Juan Pierre?!??????? Will they trade him to your favorite team??????! Doubtful! Just because Team A has a surplus of Position B doesn't mean they'll unload someone to Team C in exchange for Prospect D. Chad Billingsley goes for win #10 today and will insert Tab E into slot F if he wants to finish building his papercraft cow.

  • Padres at Mariners, 4:40PM EDT: I'm sure on the West Coast this is considered an afternoon game, but with our marked East Coast bias, this exists only in the evening spacetime continuum. And the evening time is for happy hour and/or doing laundry. I will ignore this game until I start my load of delicates.

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I have no choice but to be late in showing up for Sooze's liveglog. Someone please save my seat; I'll bring schnapps.

Actually, Armando is the non-non-Hodgkins Galarraga. But he's pitching like Andres would.

I assume a blazer does not count as a delicate.

Actually, Armando is the non-non-Hodgkins Galarraga. But he's pitching like Andres would.

I get my big cats mixed up, Guy Clark.

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