Baseball Before Bedtime: Lupe Lupe Lupe

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Here's what happened in baseball last night when no one posted your bail:

Marlins 4, Giants 0: On a day when I used the term 'pitching poor' to describe his team, young Florida starter Sean West kicked my teeth in and hurled eight scoreless innings in which he allowed but three baserunners. Fella even took a no-hitter into the seventh, then took a young lady out for malteds. Brett Carroll hit his first career ding-dong which prompted this note from the AP: "A fan with a glove caught Carroll's homer on the fly." This is newsworthy because Land Shark Stadium's outfield seats are usually as empty as Randy Johnson's heart.

White Sox 6, Tigers 1 (Game 2): The ChiSox took the nightcap of the doubleheader behind the pitching prowess of Jose Contreras and his first victory of 2009. Fella went eight scoreless frames in which he allowed but one hit. He outdueled Tigers starter Jeremy Bonderman, making his first appearance in over a year after having a blood clot fixed in his arm. He gave up three homers, eight hits, and six runs in four innings and is considering taking another year off to rehab his sadness.

Yankees 5, Rays 3: Mariano Rivera will never die, he'll just return to his home planet one day and leave behind a time capsule that contains the secret to pitching. Here's a hint: throw the high hard one on an 0-and-2 count. It gets 'em every time, just like it got B.J. Upton to strike out swinging on the final pitch of this affair. The Yankees scored all five of their runs on homers for two reasons: (a) Yankee Stadium has a short right field fence (b) Yankees players are good at hitting homers.

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 3: I tried to warn you about Adam Lind. You wouldn't listen. Now here's your comeuppance. Fella clobbered two tater tots to lead the Jays to their first road win since May 10th. These guys just prefer to play in the friendly confines of Canadia Telecom Concern Terrordome, do you blame them? Somehow, Lyle Overbay hit safely in his 14th straight game and won the AL player of the week award.

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I went to college with a girl named Lupe Eyde.

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