Baseball Before Bedtime: Good Morning

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Here's what happened in baseball last night when we cheated on every test:

Giants 3, Rangers 2: The Giants were part of the conversation, and then out of it, and then just as quickly back in it once again. What were we talking about? Oh yes, contention. After being shamefully wiped clean by the Angels last week, San Fran swept the Rangers on the backs of good pitching; Barry Zito's seven solid topped off a weekend in which Texas managed just seven runs in a sweet three game takedown. Our old friend Andruw Jones broke up Zito's no-hitter in the seventh with a two run tater tot. The Giants are the anti-Phillies, having won 11 of 13 series at home.

Mariners 3, Diamondbacks 2: It was a wild weekend of walkoffs, despite the absolutely discouraging lack of crustacean-friendly walkoff walks. No matter, Tony Clark's ninth inning error was hilarious enough to help Seattle win and reacquaint theyselves with the .500 mark for the first time since early May. Clark's oopsie came on the most ordinary of routine plays as he dropped a simple putout throw from third baseman Mark Reynolds with two outs and the winning run on third. Whoops. King Felix had another solid start while his ERA dipped under 2.75. Cy. Young. Just you wait.

Red Sox 6, Braves 5: The walkoff home run is perhaps the meatiest, manliest way to send the losers to the showers and the concessionaires to the cash out room. But sometimes, it is not the hulking beast or the lanky slugger whose moonshot causes the home crowd to cheer and reach for their car keys: from time to time, mere journeyman middle infielders have the power. In this case, it was Nick Green who popped the winning walkoff tot that eased the pain of Red Sox fans mourning the latest victim of disability, Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Orioles 2, Phillies 1: Relax, Phillies fans. Half your team is either hurt or pooping their brains out, but at least Cole Hamels is fine. Fella pitched a gem to outshine all gems as Philadelphia finally won a home game against an American League oppon...wait, what? Only one run? Against Baltimore? What, did Cholly have Cat Stairs batting cleanup? He did? Is Ryan Howard still shitting out his insides? They've lost how many home games now? HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS, PHILLIES FANS?

Tigers 3, Brewers 2: Who needs Magglio Ordonez when you've got Justin Verlander hurling seven superb innings or Brandon Inge notching all three ribs with one ding dong swing dong? Not Smoky Joe Leyland, thats fer sure.


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3 Comments

That was a nice cock punch, load the bases against Papelbon, don't score, then the first pitch in the bottom of the 9th, game over.

fuck.

did you see the path that tot took?
it was straight out of a Looney Toons short!

"Walkoff Whoopsiedoodle" was ALMOST the name of this blog.

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