Baseball Before Bedtime: I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight

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Here's what happened in baseball last night when the big boys were all spoiling for a fight:

Reds 4, Braves 3: Javy Vazquez added seven to his league-leading strikeout total with his complete game performance but it wasn't enough to topple Micah Owings' three run tater tot. Good thing Owings contributed offensively because the top five Reds batters in the lineup went a combined 0-for-17. Come back, Joey Votto! You too, Shane.

Nationals 3, Yankees 2: Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Nats closer Mike MacDougal saved John Lannan's hide by inducing a ground ball double play off the bat of Robinson Cano to end the game. Lannan was shutting down hitters like he was the Health Department and the Yanks were roach-infested KFCs until Johnny Damon slammed a solo dong in the ninth. The Nats got their big O from an Adam Dunn tater tot and a two-run triple by Nick Johnson that Melky Cabrera completely whiffed on while diving.

Orioles 6, Mets 4: Wake up, Wieters fans! Your boy Matt finally clobbered his first ever happy jack and notched his first and second career RBI. Nick Markakis gave it up for Greeks everywhere and went 4-for-4. Note that this is the first time since Eisenhower was in office that a Baltimore baseball team and Washington baseball team have won on the same day. Not really, it just feels that way.

Cardinals 4, Tigers 3: Joel Zumaya's bases-loaded walk issued to Ryan Ludwick proved to be the game-winner for the Cards while Colby Rasmus earned his first career triple. Zumaya's seventh inning adventure featured three walks and a hit. That struck a bad chord with Tigers fans, no doubt.

Pirates 8, Twins 2: Andrew McCutchen hit his first big league homer while The Brothers LaRoche both went deep to become the first pair of Pirate siblings to go yard since Paul and Lloyd Waner back in nineteen-dickety-eight. That is if you don't count Pirates second baseman (basemen?) Boris and Lucas Hassenpfeffer, the Siamese twins joined at the hip, who went deep off Vic Lombardi back in 1947.

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the Siamese twins joined at the hip, who went deep off Vic Lombardi back in 1947.
Vodka for breakfast again Rob?

Micah is 7-13 with 3 tater tots against his old hometown Braves.

h8 u so much micah.

Get off my website you fucking troll.

Not you, Matt.

New theory: Kris Leaves Popular Baseball Site After Killing Drifter

Since when is killing a drifter a crime?

Nobody alleged foul play. I just meant to imply that he had found a higher calling.

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