Baseball Before Bedtime: While My Guitar Gently Weeps

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Here's what happened in baseball last night when no one alerted you:

Blue Jays 4, Royals 0: Roy Halladay twirled a shutout and continued his campaign to earn his spot on the pitching mound in the first inning of the Midsummer Classic, all as his biggest rival watched from the opposing dugout. Zack Greinke, you had a nice run but Halladay's twelfth career shutout and 43rd career jeu complet proves that he's built to last. Fella even worked out of a bases loaded jam in the 7th by striking Miguel Olivo and eliminating Mitch Maier on a groundout. The Royals are now just a half a game better than the worst team in the AL.

Tigers 9, Angels 6: The Tigers bullpen finally met their match when it comes to screwing the pooch. The Los Angeles Angels of Angelheim now possess the single durst bullpen ERA in all of baseball and blew this rubber match in spectacular fashion. After the Angel offense took a one-run lead in the eighth, Jose Arredondo and Jason Bulger decided to give up walks and a Clete Thomas king dong to erase any bad feelings Tigers fans might have had about their own bullpen's failures. That's a kind move.

Athletics 3, Orioles 0: Eh, Vin Mazzaro. Eh Cumpari, ci vo sunari. Chi si sona? U friscalettu. E comu si sona u friscalettu? U friscalette, tipiti tipiti tam. The A's are the hottest team in baseball thanks to Mazzaro's seven and a third shutout innings and a tidy three-run rally in the first frame. The runs were scored on a bases-loaded walk, a bases-loaded HBP, and a bases-loaded groundout. Typical Oriole loss. That's a two hour and thirteen minute game and that's a sweep, people.

Giants 3, Marlins 2: There was a doubles party in Miami and everyone was invited, even Giants starter Tim Lincecum. Fella pitched into the eighth, earned the win, and joined five other teammates in smacking a lusty double. Lincecum survived an eighth inning tater tot by Father Chris Coghlan and had his soul saved by closer Brian Wilson. Smiles, everyone.

Mets 7, Nationals 0: Now we know why Omar Minaya was so hot-to-trot to sign Livan Hernandez. Fella won his seventh straight game against his former team, so Minaya has officially gotten his money's worth with his employment of the aging cheeseballer. Also, he needed a bridge partner who didn't mind cheating.

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Lesson of the morning: George Harrison and Children of Bodom don't mix.

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