Fear is at our Roots - The Saturday Morning Post

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treebaby.pngWhat happened last night in baseball while you attempted to justify what you live for.

Dodgers 4, Phillies 3: Just when you think Brad Lidge is back on track after a shaky start to the season, he goes and blows one against the Dodgers. Not that he didn't have some help, mind you. Lidge got the first two outs in short order before a single and a walk made things interesting. Pedro Feliz booted a game-ending ground ball to load the bases for Andre Eithier, who doubled home the winning, unearned runs. Lost in all this booting was a solid effort by baseball's other septuagenarian Jamie Moyer. Is Moyer a Hall of Famer? If they build a Hall of Sticktoitiveness and Saggy Old Man Ass; he's a lock. The Mets won too! David Wright went 4 for 5 though the Mets should be punished for only scoring 1 run in regulation against Nationals pitching. Welcome to Atlanta Nate McLouth! Your new team sucks too. Two hits is all the Bravos could muster off secret ace Yovanni Gallardo. Nate went oh fer at the plate though he's still batting 1.000 in his former teammates' hearts.

Rangers 5, Red Sox 1: With trade winds and buyer beware warnings swirling around Sox starter Brad Penny, he went out and showed any potential trading partner exactly what they're getting. A greasy fifth starter that pounds the fastball and hopes for the best. That won't exactly cut it against the big dicked Rangers. Ian Kinsler delivered the decisive blow early on with a three run tot. Kevin Millwood pitched well at Fenway once again, he's 5-1 there for his career. A sad day for bloggers everywhere as Ichiro's hitting steak stalled at 27. The Twins outlasted the M's in an extra innings pitcher's duel eventually undone by errors and calamity. Mike Sweeney homered and I giggled like a little girl. More pitching in Detroit with the Angels coming out on top. Justin Verlander and Ervin Santana matched fastballs for 8 innings before the Angels broke though against Tigers' closer Fernando Rodney. Lots of 2-1 games last night.

Astros 9, PIrates 1: No fair! Picking on the grieving widows of the NL Central like that! The Astros used a 7 run sixth inning to blast the Pirates to pieces. Carlos Lee's tetra tot did most of the heavy lifting. Mike Hampton is very quietly 4-4, which is to say Mike Hampton has very quietly made at least 8 starts. He pitched 7 strong last night and chipped in a ribbie. Usually, you can assume a 2-1 game was a well-pitched affair. You obviously don't know much about the National League Central! The Big Crazy Z pitched 6.2 long innings, striking out 7 but walking 5. His opposite number Micah Owings pitched 6 full while walking only three. He didn't hit a home run so nobody cares. The Cubs move into a tie with the Reds for third place in the division. Scary.

Everywhere else: The slumping Blue Jays beat on Zack "The Zombie" Greinke unlike any team in 2009, tagging him for 7 runs including TWO dingers. The red hot Adam Lind took him deep the opposite way, helping raise Greinke's ERA to a pedestrian 1.55. Carl Pavano pitching a complete game shut out over the flailing White Sox. I'm officially afraid. Remember Matt Weiters? Me either. The poor young man's hitting .167 and is without an extra base hit since last weekend. Your fantasy team officially hates you. The hottest team in baseball? You San Francisco Giants. They've won 8 of their last 10 including three in a row. The Giants joined the Dodgers in the exclusive "NL West teams with winning records club." Members get to rub the Swinging Friars head for luck or throw poisonous snakes into the opposing dugout. Their choice.


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9 Comments

I wish Hampton would have chipped a ribbie instead. He'd find a way to do it.

Gregggg Zaun wags a finger at Zack the Zombie for not bringing his Z-Game. Looks like its back to the ol' Zoloft and Zyprexa for Greinke.

Whoa, I'm just drinkin the High Life and lamenting the loss of Lloyd the Barber (it's like King reissuing as Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman - let me pretend!), and this guy comes along with his global annihilation moniker alliterating with Z's people!!!
I need another beer

Anybody have hotel recommendations for the heist?

hey Chief, condolences on the loss of Big Dick Jacobs

Courtyard by Marriott in Center City. You can Priceline it and get a good rate as per one of the other out-of-town attendees.

We had a BBQ today and have 2 lbs each of homemade mac and potato salad left over.

POSEIDON LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE

HAIL YOUR OAKLAND MASTERS

Oakland Master - Noun. A being who is mad hyphy and goes stupid doo-doo dumb when he be gone off one.

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