Oink! Mets Employee Hospitalized With Possible Swine Flu

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Admit it, folks. If there was one team you'd expect to have a pandemic of swine flu, wouldn't you guess the Mets? In a (not so) stunning turn of creampuffery, a member of the team's traveling party has been stricken with a possible case of swine flu and sent home for an official diagnosis.

More importantly, they had to get that dude out of Pittsburgh and into strict quarantine, lest he create an outbreak that takes down the entire team:

A source said SNY producer Dan Barr began feeling ill Sunday night during the Mets' charter flight to Pittsburgh for the series that began Monday. He was sent home today.

Mets assistant GM John Ricco told reporters the club is confident that (Carlos) Beltran and John Maine, who also has been battling stomach illness, are safe from swine flu. Maine returned to the team today and felt good enough to perform off-day throwing drills after having to leave early from his start Sunday at Citi Field due to the stomach ailment.

"We've been told [swine flu] is not a type of illness that's transmitted through the air," Ricco said before the game with the Pirates. "It's more shaking hands, sneezing. So we're not too worried. The symptoms, we've been told, are marked generally by high fever, joint aches and fatigue. These symptoms are not consistent at all with what Carlos Beltran and John Maine have at the present time, but our players are being informed that this has happened. Right now, no one on our team is feeling any of that type of symptoms."

No worries, Mets fans. Looks like Beltran and Maine just have a case of the chocolate squirts and not the dastardly swine flu. But I'd like to ask assistant GM John Ricco why he thinks the flu can't be transmitted through the air. If I'm sitting on a plane and a dude behind me infected with the swine flu sneezes, the little sneeze particles will travel through the air, over my head, and onto my reheated bland chicken tetrazzini meal. Next thing you know, I've got a 103 degree fever and case of the chills worse than any Mets fan feels when J.J. Putz enters a game in the eighth inning.

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It's more shaking hands, sneezing. So we're not too worried.



Let the chewing tobacco prohibition begin!

Great comment, Matt. I knew I could count on our best readers to make associations that I fail to recognize.

Steve Phillips is currently crafting an argument that places the blame for this on David Wright.

Carlos Beltran lacks the grit to fight off a life-threatening disease and the hustle to outrun a common pig!


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