Ozzie Guillen Needs To Write a Travel Guide for Baseball Fans

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Ozzie Guillen never holds back with his opinion and that's why he gets quoted on sports blogs. If I got paid for this job, I'd be forced to give 5% of my earnings back to Ozzie. It's almost as if he wants to proselytize and the only way he can get his opinions across is to run his mouth and imply that the bowels of Wrigley Field make him vomit. Which is exactly what he did before the ChiSox left Milwaukee:

I see the other day they asked [Joe] Crede about the rats [in Wrigley], at least I have something that people can read and write and listen to, but I never put the Cubs fans down, I've always admired the Cubs office, I always made my feelings known about Cubs players, about the manager, about Lou [Piniella] now, [general manager] Jim Hendry and the way I respect them, a lot, a lot, but Wrigley Field? I puke every time I go there. I'm just being honest.

"If the Cubs fans don't like the way I talk about Wrigley Field ... I don't say anything about their fans, but Wrigley Field? They have to respect my opinion because that's the way I feel. A lot of great people are working there, the clubhouse people working there - I wish they had a better clubhouse, but besides that, it's exciting when the game starts. Of course it's exciting because that's one of the best, it's always crowded. But besides that, it's terrible.''

"I'd rather have somebody say you hate the place you live, rather than the people who live in it,'' Guillen said. "I never say I hate the players, the organization or the Cubs uniforms, then it's something bad.

"Every time I walk to Wrigley Field, people treat me like a king. The people that work at Wrigley field, like the front office people, the security guards, the people who work there are very honest and treat me well. I just hate the building.''

When Guillen is finally forced to retire from managing (which I hope isn't for another 40 years), he should write a travelogue about America's assorted stadiums, hotels, and restaurants, so the average traveling Joe can find out which diners make Ozzie puke and which Days Inns merely make him dry heave. He'd be the Rick Steves of ballparks.

(We owe a Pepsi Throwback to Can't Stop the Bleeding)

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Team him up with Ethier and you've got yourself a new hit for the Food Network.

A drunken frat boy Cubs fan tried to dispute what Ozzie said, but then a chunk of concrete fell on him.

Trixie is so not hooking up with Ozzie after the game.

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