Pyromaniac Cleveland Relief Corps Finally Brought To Justice

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Bullpen members are supposed to put out fires, not fan the flames and douse them with grain alcohol. Nobody told the Indians relief crew, though. Patrick at Knuckle Curve gets the scoop:

CLEVELAND, OH - Heartening news for Indians fans tonight, as word has just come down that the entire Indians relief corps has been placed under arrest for arson. The group was apprehended after a particularly egregious episode of firestarting behavior while on national television late Monday night, during a game against the Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brewers were trailing by 4 runs in the top of the 8th inning, 12-8. As the score indicated, both teams were hitting the ball well. "We really felt like our guys were giving us a chance to win up there at the plate," said beleaguered Indians manager Eric Wedge. "You usually feel pretty comfortable with your chances to pick up a win when you put up 12 like that."

And yet somehow, Kerry Wood was only involved as an accessory. Who said satire was dead? Oh right, I did. Well I was only partly right.

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I was watching on my television set when the Indians' bullpen set fire to the Progressive Field scoreboard last night. Who said that the vague concept of "amazing" only happens in basketball?!

Between this game and the podcast, I was in baseball Nirvana. Well, maybe more like baseball Xanadu.

The Tribes' bull pen favorite song: "Cat People" by David Bowie

/And I've been putting out fire
with gasoline
putting out fire with gasoline

Side note on grain alcohol, the wife and I made our first liter of limoncello the other night.

Jensen Lewis is Fire Marshall Bill.

Jensen Lewis can't lose.

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