The Tao Of Dusty Baker: June

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You kids have been good lately and I'd like to reward you with a pot of sweet meats. Specifically, it's time for The Tao Of Dusty Baker. The Reds' relative, but diminishing, success in the NL Central hasn't changed The Duster (huff huff) one bit. He still drops knowledge with the same bewitching mixture of obviousness, oldness and profundity. OUt of context quotes from Dusty via the inimitable John Fay. DIG IT BAKEHEADS:

  • "You scout ability and you scout character as well when you're trying to put the pieces of the puzzle back together. We have a lot of homegrown talent. We injected quality guys from the outside to go along with homegrown talent."

Translation: We have baseball players on our baseball team.

  • "I'm very happy here," Baker said. "I plan on being here for a while - if they'll have me for a while. Things change quickly. You've got to stay on top of your game, tighten up your game and keep it tight - without making your players tight."

Translation: There are times in a man's life when he faces uncertainty. Hell, Sartre might have said that's all he ever faces. But if Sartre was around today he'd say: 'Screw it. Keep em loose.'

  • "Well, it's not bad news. It's the best news it could be for bad news."

Translation: Relativity shouldn't even be a word. We should just accept it as reality.


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3 Comments

"You've got to stay on top of your game, tighten up your game and keep it tight - without making your players tight."

Translation: "I'm doing Kegel exercises right now as I'm talking to you, John Fay."

"We inject quality guys from the outside..."
Translation: "Cortisone shots make my career-threatening handling of pitchers less awkward in the short term."

"I'm very happy here."

Translation: Did you know there's a buffet table in the clubhouse?

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