What's Happening to the Aces of Baseball?

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Within the course of one weekend, we saw some of the greatest pitchers of our generation destroyed by groin pulls, starved hysterical by tendinitis, and generally driven batty by Yankee bats. With definite injuries to Jake Peavy and Roy Halladay, and possible injuries to Johan Santana, we baseball fans might be missing out on some great performances by three dudes who have a combined four Cy Young Awards between them.

So, what exactly is happening to the aces of baseball? First, we lost Jake Peavy :

Peavy showed up at the visiting clubhouse at Angel Stadium Friday with a cast around his right ankle after it was discovered that the ankle tendinitis that has troubled him for the last three weeks was something more serious.

Peavy, who injured the ankle making an abrupt stop after rounding third base in a game against the Cubs on May 22, will wear the cast for a month, according to Padres general manager Kevin Towers.

Jake was 4-1 since that injury but it looks like the Padres won't be trading him any time soon. Nor will we be able to stop talking about the Padres trading Peavy or writing blog posts about the Padres trading Peavy or telling late night talk show jokes about the Padres trading Peavy.

Then, just as quickly, Cy Young himself tumbled from the heavens and struck Roy Halladay with a case of the ouchies:

Halladay came out of the Blue Jays' 7-3 loss to the Marlins on Friday after he felt something on his second pitch of the fourth inning. He tried one warm-up pitch and left the field with a strain to his right groin.

Halladay will not make his scheduled start next Thursday against the Philadelphia Phillies.

Doc's officially listed as day-to-day and should be ready to make a start next week against the Washington Nationals as long as Blue Jays manager Cito Gaston gives him the okay. But imagine how disappointed Toronto fans must be if even dumb Americans like me are rending garments and gnashing teeth. With a decent offense behind him, Roy had a chance to win close to 30 games this season and just one missed start can be devastating.

And while Johan Santana may not be headed to the D.L., that doesn't mean he's without medical maladies:

Although Santana insisted that he was not injured, he and Dan Warthen, the Mets' pitching coach, revealed that Santana, a left-hander, had been bothered by a blister on the middle finger of his throwing hand since late May. He had a blister on his left big toe for about the same period and, about a month ago, felt soreness in his back.

The blisters explain why his fastballs weren't fast enough to prevent the Yankees from blasting Santana for his Worst. Start. Ever. The balky back would probably be enough for the Mets to rest their ace if they weren't devastated enough by injuries to their pitching staff.

What sort of insidious specter is haunting our favoritest, bestest pitchers? Are we doomed to live in a world when every game matchup features mediocre and unimpressive hurlers like Steve Trachsel and Livan Hernandez? If bad pitchers are hemming and hawing and getting smacked around on the mound, won't games drone on longer and longer? WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

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Hey, Chris Carpenter is healt . . . nevermind.

Matt Cain stole their mojo

Halladay might need surgery, luckily he'll perform it on himself.

So from now on, when the phone rings, say, "Justin Verlanderlay Industries."

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