I know I'm only the weekend guy around here, but I'll be damned if I'd let real life come between our beloved readers and their Creampuffery. It's a Friday tradition, like coming to work two hours late and drunk. Or stealing office supplies from the local office supply store.
- Every Blue Jays pitcher, Blue Jays: With Roy Halladay heading to the DL with a groin ouchy, that makes 4 of 2008's 5 starters on the Blue Jays shelf. Add current closer Scott Downs and former long-term Creampuff Casey Janssen and you've got yourself a Canadian catastrophe. On the plus side, the Jays physical trainer was added to the all-star team staff! No, really. He was.
- Mike Hampton, Astros/Erik Bedard, Mariners: Two sides of the same brittle coin. Hampton's out with advanced muscle atrophy, Bedard's felled by diphtheria of the shoulder. That otta kill his trade value! The first signs of summer have arrived!
- Dontrelle Willis, Tigers: Deep sigh.
- Coco Crisp, Kyle Farnsworth, Royals: Crisp is out with a strained right rotator cuff, suffered in a brazen attempt to heave a baseball back toward the infield. No word on his return, the team expects him to trickle back towards the team not unlike a Coco Crisp relay attempt. Farnsworth suffered hand lacerations trying to separate his fighting dogs. Fighting dogs? Kyle Farnsworth will soon be appearing on our next listicle: What's Up Prisonpuff? Dudes That Got Traded for a Carton of Kools.
- Raul Ibanez, Phillies: Mild strain of his righteous indignation. Raped by a wallaby's Wordpress account.
- Jason Isringhausen, Rays: Torn elbow ligament. Out for the year and possibly forever. A trip to Birmingham at 37 isn't something to look forward to. Hmmm, 18 months of torturous rehab or quality trophy wife time? Here's hoping Izzie opts for leisureman over mopupman.