What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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newstretcher.JPGI know I'm only the weekend guy around here, but I'll be damned if I'd let real life come between our beloved readers and their Creampuffery. It's a Friday tradition, like coming to work two hours late and drunk. Or stealing office supplies from the local office supply store.

  • Every Blue Jays pitcher, Blue Jays: With Roy Halladay heading to the DL with a groin ouchy, that makes 4 of 2008's 5 starters on the Blue Jays shelf. Add current closer Scott Downs and former long-term Creampuff Casey Janssen and you've got yourself a Canadian catastrophe. On the plus side, the Jays physical trainer was added to the all-star team staff! No, really. He was.

  • Mike Hampton, Astros/Erik Bedard, Mariners: Two sides of the same brittle coin. Hampton's out with advanced muscle atrophy, Bedard's felled by diphtheria of the shoulder. That otta kill his trade value! The first signs of summer have arrived!

  • Dontrelle Willis, Tigers: Deep sigh.

  • Coco Crisp, Kyle Farnsworth, Royals: Crisp is out with a strained right rotator cuff, suffered in a brazen attempt to heave a baseball back toward the infield. No word on his return, the team expects him to trickle back towards the team not unlike a Coco Crisp relay attempt. Farnsworth suffered hand lacerations trying to separate his fighting dogs. Fighting dogs? Kyle Farnsworth will soon be appearing on our next listicle: What's Up Prisonpuff? Dudes That Got Traded for a Carton of Kools.

  • Raul Ibanez, Phillies: Mild strain of his righteous indignation. Raped by a wallaby's Wordpress account.

  • Jason Isringhausen, Rays: Torn elbow ligament. Out for the year and possibly forever. A trip to Birmingham at 37 isn't something to look forward to. Hmmm, 18 months of torturous rehab or quality trophy wife time? Here's hoping Izzie opts for leisureman over mopupman.

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17 Comments

Yeah, with all of those injuries, the Jays pitching staff will never be able to pull off an interleague road sweep of the defending World Champions.

/dies a little inside

dudes that got traded for a carton of Kools.

I would pull the trigger on that for Julio Lugo in a second.

2 comments in one day from Kris? I thought you were on hiatus?

How the fuck did Brett Gardner not get a concussion when his tiny bald head whiplashed into the plexiglass last night? He must have a huge layer of foam rubber between his hard skull and his tiny dinosaur brain.

Brett Gardner is a witch!

Dabblebordz are fun.

FYI - For some strange reason, I am going to see a Heart concert tonight at a local winery. I'll let you all know how that goes.

I saw ♥ many years ago. Opening act: Michael Bolton.

If they don't play "Barracuda", I give you permission to kick Ann Wilson in the babymaker.

Have fun Farty and I'll back Rob up on that but be careful Ann Wilson is not small.

Morgan's defense: "I have never seen hookers before, so how was I supposed to be sure these were hookers? I had no frame of reference."

Everybody knows that "Crazy On You" is the jam. "Barracuda" is for Guitar Hero fanboys.

@Matt-Ice-T

I had know idea Michael Peca was still alive, much less still playing hockey.

@Colonel: Joe's defense was actually not that different.

"Barracuda" was also Sarah Palin's theme song, albeit without permission.

You people are all wrong. The only good Heart song is a dead Heart song.

Fuck Heart, "Chill Out" by Black Uhuru is the only song worth listening to.

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