Your Daily Update on Stressed Out Baseball Players

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Hey everybody, Khalil Greene is back! With nearly all his marbles! And it's good to know that San Diego still cares about the fella a year since he left the Padres. Chris Jenkins of the Union-Tribune penned a nice love letter to the kid who set the Padre single season record for most homers by a shortstop a couple years back. What, you mean Ricky Gutierrez never hit 35 homers in a season?

Greene, who was traded over the winter to the Cardinals, missed 19 games while on the disabled list with social anxiety disorder. He returned from a minor league rehab assignment over the weekend to hit a home run in three straight starts while driving in five runs.

Moreover, the former Padres shortstop was playing third base seamlessly and flawlessly. There may have been a bit of "back-to-the-womb" psychology involved, since Greene started as a third baseman at Clemson, where he won the Golden Spikes Award as the NCAA's top player.

"Back-to-the-womb"? Ew, I don't need that kind of imagery in my head, Chris Jenkins. Gross, dude. At least Khalil isn't self-flaggelating anymore. That's just creepy.

In other crazy baseball player news, Joey Votto is set to return to the Reds squadron after a stress-related stint on the DL just in time for their big trip up north to Canada. That's where he's from! But the USA still has their fingerprints all over him.

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If Ted Williams were still alive I would love to know his opinion on players being put on the DL due to stress. Something tells me he would slap the shit out of them.

Sounds like Teddy Ballgame needs a trip to the DL to deal with his anger management. Either that or the frozen head thing.

I vote for the frozen head thing.

I wonder if those DL trips would get a better or worse rap if they were listed as "stage fright" instead of "anxiety disorder".

I used to get "stage fright" in high school, but not when I was in the drama club.

Ty Cobb's ghost thinks Ted Williams's headless ghost is worthless and weak.

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