It was a rough June for the New York Metropolitans, ending with a loss to the Brewers that featured a sequence where Fernando Martinez dropped a pop-fly, Johan Santana walked the pitcher on four pitches, and Ryan "Hebrew Hammer" Braun doubled in three runs and scampered home on an errant throw. It was all wrapped up with a closed-door meeting where manager Jerry Manuel reportedly berated the team for losing and not accepting authority figures who seek out sex changes.
But it doesn't have to be all sad news, thanks to the Germans and their wonderful concept of schadenfreude. Just check out the poorly-cloaked glee in Will Leitch's latest piece for Daily Intel!
The worst is that the Mets haven't even looked particularly competitive. They scored a total of just three runs in the Yankees series and embarrassed themselves last night in Milwaukee, committing two ugly errors, one by Johan Santana, who lost to a journeyman 31-year-old making his second career start. The Mets are now two games under .500 and have been passed by the Marlins for second place. And the Braves are only a game and a half behind them.
Oh Will, as much as you claim to hate the Yankees and as hard as you try to be nice to the Mets, you simply cannot hide your general distaste for the flops in Flushing. Just come out of the closet and join us Mets-haters in a perfectly happy world that values a Queens collapse, even at such an early date.
Today, the Mets will try to wrap up this little series at Miller Park with a win before heading out to Pittsburgh for the holiday weekend. The Brewers, with a little help from the Giants two straight wins in St. Lou, sit alone in first place in the NL Central and send their young ace Yovani Gallardo to the hill with orders to secure the sweep. Follow along here if you want real info. Follow along here (points to glog) if you want comically awful reporting.
|2B Craig Effin' Counsell||SS Alex Cora|
|SS JJ Hardy||2B Luis Castillo|
|LF Hebrew Hammer||3B David Wright|
|1B Veggiedogs||RF Ryan Church|
|RF Corey Hart||LF Nick Evans|
|3B Mat Gamel||1B (haha) Daniel Murphy|
|C Jason Kendall||CF F-Mart|
|CF Jody Gerut||C Brian Schneider|
|RHP Yovani Gallardo||RHP Mike Pelfrey|
Onto the glog! After the jump!
2:00PM: A little bit of pregame action on the ol' XM Radio means that I get a breather before this thing even starts. Whew, my fingers are tired already!
2:05PM: I'm not sure how Prince Fielder was able to play in the Brewers game last Friday night when he was allegedly in Vernon, New Jersey at the same time.
INNING THE FIRST
2:10PM: Yovani Gallardo's first pitch is a ball. Bob Uecker is having a laugh in the radio booth as they read off the warnings about reproducing the broadcast. He's threatening to tape his own radio call! No, Bob! They'll put you in baseball prison! Alex Cora singles to lead off the game.
2:15PM: I just remembered I paid almost $100 for that MLB.tv gizmo. Hit the bricks, Uecker. Castillo grounds it to short and Cora is out at second. Castillo reaches on the fielder's choice, bringing up David Wright, the league leader in hitting. Also, the league leader in sadness over fallen teammates. Also, the league leader in wondering how horrible it is to have Ryan Church protecting you in the lineup. Castillo swipes second and Jason Ken-Doll hurls the baseball into centerfield. No extra advance as Wright strikes out.
2:20PM: The Brewers have never swept the Mets, which is odd considering their rivalry stretches all the way back to 1998, when Britney Spears was a virgin, Viagra was still in the approval stages by the FDA, and Harry Caray was still alive. What do those three things have in common? You do the math. Ryan Church walks, followed by a double steal on a low ball.to Nick Evans, who then proceeds to strike out to end the inning.
2:22PM: In honor of Canada Day today, I'd like to salute all the fine Canadian men on the Brewers roster and all the wonderful Quebecoise on the Mets team. Here, in alphabetical order, they are: . Okay! On with the action. Pelfrey's first pitch to Counsell is a strike and his second pitch gets whacked all the way to the warning track only to be snagged by Ryan Church.
2:25PM: J.J. Hardy really should drop the periods that separate his initials, a la CC Sabathia. Hardy flies out to Fernando Martinez, who I once thought was a pitcher. Ryan Braun, the Hebrew Hammer, grounds out to second and the first inning is done with the score tied 0-0. Hey, the score 0-0 looks kind of like this.
INNING THE SECOND
2:30PM: Here's Daniel Murphy, who is not to be confused with this Dan Murphy.
The Mets Dan Murphy strikes out. Fernando Martinez grounds out.
2:32PM: Did you know the Mets catching duo leads the league in RBI at that position? Brian Schneider falls behind in the count but does not give up, unlike Norm Coleman, and notches a single up the middle. Mike Pelfrey K's to end the inning.
2:35PM: Prince of Tofu Dogs leads off, and the Brewers TV guys just compared his powerful month of June to a "runaway train". IT'S LIKE THEY'RE FOLLOWING MY GLOG. Maybe if I post this video, they'll talk about it, too:
The chubby vegan strikes out looking on a pitch that hugged the inside corner.
2:40PM: Corey Hart grounds out up the middle. Here's Mat Gamel, or as I like to call him, Mat Gamera:
Gamera reaches on a David Wright throwing error, and advances to second, bringing up
Craiggers (Jason Kendall...I always get white folks mixed up) with a runner in scoring position.
2:42PM: Ken Doll grounds out and we're headed to the third still scoreless.
INNING THE THIRD
2:45PM: The game has returned from commercials but not so much the audio. It's like the opposite of what I used to experience, liveglogging the radio call sans moving pictures. Alex Cora leads off (and strikes out looking) as I check my wires, connections, and mute buttons.
2:47PM: Luis "HE DROPPED THE BALL" Castillo grounds out. That kid could win a million Gold Gloves but he'll never quite overcome this moment:
2:49PM: David Wright strikes out looking at a nasty curveball. This game is moving along at a pace tidy enough that I might actually reach the eighth inning and win The Colonel a couple of sheckels.
2:53PM: Jody Gerut, who hit the very first tater tot in CitiField history as a Padre, leads off. He flares one into foul territory just past third that David Wright jussssssst misses catching despite his full extension dive. I didn't know Jody's last name was pronounced the same as this lady's. Oh well, you take the good, you take the bad, you take a pitch, and then you strike out.
2:56PM: Gallardo strikes out looking. I'm starving, Earl, we got any chips and pico de gallardo back there? There's Willie Randolph chillin' in the Brewers dugout and feeling generally good about his new team. Counsell grounds out AND WE'RE GOING TO THE FOURTH INNING JUST FORTY-FIVE MINUTES INTO THE GAME.
INNING THE FOURTH
3:00PM: Only three comments in three innings? I am saddened. Please just let me know someone is alive out there. I am not man enough to do this thing alone. Ryan Church shatters his bat as he grounds out; his shaft went flying over Prince Tofudog's head.
3:03PM: Nick Evans doubles in the gap. Gallardo notches his seventh strikeout of the game, getting Murphy looking. F-Mart flies out. Love the pace, fellas!
3:06PM: J.J. Hardy singles and the Brewers have a leadoff dude on the bases to make Pelfrey sweat.
3:10PM: Part of the reason I chose this game to liveglog was Ryan Braun. I have him this week as my chosen entry in Jesse Spector's Player Pick Pool. The other reason I chose this game was pretty obvious:
Braun works the count full and one of the umpires, Brian O'Nora, shuffles off into the Brewers dugout to have his eye looked at. I guess someone's contact lens is more important than getting this game under the 2:30 mark.
3:14PM: Good news, everyone, O'Nora's okay. I'm sure the Milwaukee crowd won't sass him with any vision-related jokes if he makes any questionable strike calls. Braun grounds one to the right of Cora and reaches on an infield single. Hardy stays put at second.
3:15PM: Prince Fielder obviously didn't have a big enough breakfast as his massive fly ball falls into Ryan Church's glove on the warning track. That's one out and Hardy tags to third.
3:17PM: Corey Hart giddyups, second to short to first, oh my, to end the inning. Still a scoreless affair, not unlike the time I dated that Mormon girl back in college.
INNING THE FIFTH
3:20PM: I forgot to add a 'zing' to that last sentence. The Mets play in Pittsburgh tomorrow, the Brewers in Chicago. Neither team has very far to travel but the quick pace of this game might be because of (a) the awesome pitching of Gallardo or (b) the umpires having dinner reservations at P.F. Changs at the airport.
3:23PM: Brian Schneider strikes out swinging and that's eight, count em eight K's for Yovani through 4 1/3. The Brewers TV guys are discussing a possible All Star berth for young Yovani, altho methinks Milwaukee should do anything in their power to keep the dude on his regular pitching schedule and as far away from St. Louis as possible. Pelfrey grounds out to Hardy, two down.
3:26PM: Alex Cora is up. He has made numerous appearances at Walkoff Walk but only in liveglogs. C'mon Alex, do something stupid so we can make fun of you in a regular blog post. Like become the next manager of the Mets. Cora strikes out looking; that's nine K's in five innings and a tidy three-hit shutout so far.
3:30PM: This just in: Major League Baseball has expanded All Star rosters to 33, with the extra spot going to a 13th pitcher. Finally, Julian Tavarez' dreams of making the All Star Game will continue to be shattered. Miller Lite just named the "Tavern of the Game", a promotion which could only exist in Wisconsin. Or Minnesota. Or Illinois, wherever Polish and German people gather to drink watered down beer. Mat Gamera strikes out looking.
3:33PM: The other big thing for Brewers broadcasts: showing Bernie Brewer dancing on top of his slide that doesn't lead into a keg of beer. I feel bad for Bernie ever since he had his nuts chopped off. Jason Ken Doll draws the first Brewer walk of the day, here's Jody Gerut. I have just been informed that my opponent in fantasy has Pico De Gallardo on his squadron. This does not faze me *cough cough Danny Haren CC Sabathia Nickgasm Blackburn cough**. Gerut giddyups and we're going to the sixth, still scoreless.
INNING THE SIXTH
3:38PM: It's officially a pitchers' duel, y'all! Here's Luis Castillo to lead off for the Mets. Castillo, Wright, and Church have just been referred to as the meat of the Mets lineup. Yes, if by meat you mean something like this:
3:39PM: Castillo lines one down the line in left just near the tarp; a comely female fan lunges over the tarp and snags it and then has to be pulled back into the stands by her friends. This is a grounds rule double because Dummy had to reach over and touch a live ball. Castillo coulda had a triple, y'all.
3:42PM: I just realized that any games involving the Mets or Yankees should be blacked out in my viewing area on MLB.tv. Well, I guess either I'm wrong or there's a ghost in the machine. DONT TELL BUD SELIG PLEAZE. No matter, David Wright strikes out for the third time today. That's 10 for Gallardo.
3:44PM: Ryan Church grounds one up the middle past a diving Counsell and Castillo motors in to score, 1-0 Mets on the RBI single by Church.
3:45PM: Jason Ken Doll digs one out of the dirt and nails Church stealing second, earning the praise from the TV guys and a gold star from this blogger.
3:48PM: Daniel Murphy flies out to the warning track to end the inning. Oh my god, you guys: KARL MALDEN DIED. At age 97. Jeez, that's old.
3:51PM: Gallardo leads off the inning. No pinch-hitter means Yovani will come out for the seventh, and probably the eighth, having only thrown 80 pitches so far. Gallardo lines out to Nick Evans, one down.
3:55PM: The Mets have now turned eight double plays in the last four games, which means that they've been putting on a heckuva lot of runners and inducing a heckuva lot of grounders. Here's another hit from Craiggers. Counsell then steals second on a failed hit and run.
3:58PM: Hardy grounds out and the Mets meet on the mound to decide what to do with the Hebrew Hammer. Looks like they'll pitch to him despite the open base since the other option would be dealing with Prince Fielder. That's no picnic. Because he'd bring veggie burgers and ruin the entire affair. Braun lines out to F-Mart in right-center. End of six, 1-0 Mets.
INNING THE SEVENTH
4:01PM: F-Mart leads off the inning. In other games today, the Jays beat the Rays, the Marlins beat the Nats, and the Orioles just blew a 4-run lead to the Red Sox in the ninth. Thanks, OrioLOLs! Gallardo strikes out F-Mart, tying his career high with his eleventh K on the day.
4:04PM: Gallardo strikes out Schneider to round out his dozen punchouts. Pelfrey bats for himself and grounds out to first, bringing the seventh inning stretch to you Canadian music-starved readers:
4:07PM: Prince Fielder leads off with a single. I predict he will not attempt to steal. Yet Pelfrey fakes a throw to first and Fielder is awarded second base on what is called a balk. Here comes Jerry Tranuel to argue.
4:10PM: That's Pelfrey's fifth balk on the season, or just about as many tater tots David Wright has collected this year. Ye gods. Hart attempts a bunt that rolls just foul, then attempts to bunt again and Schneider whips a throw to Cora who whips a throw to nail Fielder at third, caught between the bags. COSTLY.
4:13PM: Having failed to get a bunt down and advance Pudgy Tofudogs, Hart grounds out weakly to second. Two down. Here's Mat Gamera. For all the high praise I've been loading on Gallardo today, this is certainly Mike Pelfrey's greatest start of the season, and perhaps his career. Gamera goes down looking.
INNING THE EIGHTH
4:18PM: Gallardo's day is done, walking 2 and striking out 12 in seven very good innings. His replacement? Carlos Villanueva, no relation to this guy.
4:22PM: Cora grounds out to second to lead off. Here's Luis Castillo. Play him off, Keyboard Cat! I was going to embed a video of Keyboard Cat playing off Luis but MLBAM had the video removed from YouTube in violation of their "No musical felines" policy. Luis works the count full, then flies out to Braun.
4:24PM: Off topic, for you beer fans out there: pour down center. David Wright refuses to tilt his beer glass and grounds out to short. Middle of the eighth, y'all.
4:28PM: Mike "MIKE!" Pelfrey is back out on the mound to face the Brew Crew's bottom of the lineup. Jason Ken Doll strikes out. Boom, roasted.
4:31PM: Jody Gerut grounds out. Frank Catalanotto pinch hits and picks up a big single, a much-needed base runner with TIME. RUNNING. OUT.
4:33PM: Here's a family portrait of the Catalanottos for you to peruse as we await the results of this exciting Craig Counsell at-bat.
4:34PM: Counsell walks! Tying run in scoring positions! J.J. Hardy to the plate! Jerry Tranuel to the bullpen! Sean Green to the mound!
4:37PM: The sidewinder Green pitches in Milwaukee. Meanwhile, the Brewers TV folks just zoomed in on a fan dressed as a gecko. I'm all reptiled out. Hardy grounds out weakly to Wright, who steps on third base to murder the Brewers rally. We're going to the ninth inning. STRAP IN.
INNING THE NINTH
4:40PM: The generically-named Chris Smith is your new Brewers pitcher. He was the closer at the Triple-A Nashville Sounds and likes long walks on the warning track. Church grounds out to lead off the ninth.
4:42PM: K-Rod is warming up in the Mets bullpen; he'll face Braun, Fielder and Hart. That's the Hart of the Brewers lineup. GET IT? GET IT? Nick Evans grounds out to Gamera at third. Rawwwrrr!!
4:44PM: Murphy flies out. LETS DO THIS THING, FELLAS!
YOU ARE ENTERING THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH
USE CAUTION THIS IS A POSSIBLE FAIL ZONE
4:46PM: You could cut the tension in Miller Park with an oversized cheese knife. Here's Braun, he's 1-for-3 on the day with a single. Jeremy Reed takes over in left. And K-Rod brings his walking pants out from the pen as he takes over on the mound. There's a base hit for Braun.
4:47PM: Gecko guy and 35,000 of his closest friends are on their feet and cheering. Here's Prince Fielder. The ball gets away from Schneider but Braun stays put at first.
4:48PM: Fielder lines out to Cora who snaps a throw to first just behind a sliding Braun. One down.
4:50PM: If I'm the Brewers here, I'm taking pitches like they're made of swine flu. But I'm not the Brewers. Hart taps one out in front of home plate and gets thrown out, Schneider to Murphy. Two down.
4:51PM: Braun moved to second on that play. Casey McGehee, a righty, will pinch hit for Gamera. Runner in scoring position, y'all.
4:52PM: And McGehee grounds out to end the game. That's a Mets win, a 1-0 win, a Mike Pelfrey win and a really tough Yovani Gallardo loss. Thanks to our readers and commenters for making this a fun afternoon, and if you had "nine innings" in the "how long will Rob glog pool", you win the big prize.