Baseball Before Bedtime: Kind of a Girl

| | Comments (0)

Here's what happened in baseball last night when you didn't quite understand:

Astros 5, Nationals 0: Perhaps being shut out by Houston and Brian freakin Moehler was the straw that broke Manny Acta's back. Fella told that he was toast yesterday. Senor Jim Reeeeeeeeegleman will take over for the ailing (read: poorly-put-together) team.

Phillies 5, Pirates 1: Spurned on by the Walkoff Walk Field Trippers, the Fightins finished off Pittsburgh behind a Pedro Feliz tetra tot and some fine pitching from J.A. Happ (seven innings, one run). That one run was a homer by Pirate stud Garrett Jones, his third straight game he's collected a ding-dong. Shame that the All Star break is here to interrupt his dong streak. Also, shame he's departing homer-happy CBP.

Angels 5, Yankees 4: Also swept yesterday: the Yanks. They couldn't possibly get out of Angelheim any faster since there was really no good news for them this weekend. The AL East's second place team is now a combined 2-12 against the arch-rival Red Sox and Angels. My man CC Sabathia is pretty much alternating good starts with shit ones lately. This was a shit one.

Red Sox 6, Royals 0: Meanwhile, Josh Beckett spun a three-hit gem as the Sox swept the Royals to take a three-game AL East lead to the All Star break. Jacoby Ellsbury swiped his fortieth base of the year, becoming only the second Red Sock to ever do that feat twice in a career. In fact, the dude is only 11 stolen bases away from topping his 50 from last year and 15 away from setting the single season franchise mark, currently held by Tommy Harper. That Navajo can run!

Dodgers 7, Brewers 4: The Dodgers took the rubber game between the two NL teams that got steamrolled by the Phillies playoff train last year. The Los Angeles Fightin Torres move to MLB best 56-32 record at the midway mark, their best start since Fat Tommy Lasorda's first year as skipper in '77. That's a spicy meatball! Orlando Hudson finally earned his supper with two ding-dongs and Clayton Kershaw won his fifth straight road start. Things are so good for the Dodgers lately, you'd think their owner had made a deal with the devil. Oh wait, he's only married to the devil.

More on the #HEIST and tonight's Home Run Derby glog later...

PREVIOUS: Paul Bako: Godless Heathen   |   NEXT: Paul Bako Must Be Kosher But Lobster Baby Ain't Treife

Leave a comment