Baseball Before Bedtime: Straight to Hell

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Here's what happened in baseball last night when there ain't no use for ya:

Nationals 14, Brewers 6: This was like the World Series for the Nats. Washington OF Josh Willingham became just the 3rd NLer to smack two grand slams in the same game; Willingham's pair of tetra tots came in back-to-back innings. Pretty cool, but Fernando Tatis once had two king dongs in one inning. In a strange twist of fate, Tatis hit a grand slam for the Mets last night.

Royals 5, Orioles 3: Hey, Joakim Soria's furlough is finally over! The Kansas City closer got his first save opportunity in sixteen days and converted it, as is his wont. That he even had a lead to save can be partly attributed to Billy Butler's career-high five hits and Brayan "Don't Call Me Tony" Pena's go-ahead RBI infield single in the seventh. The Royals now have two wins in thirteen games while the Orioles have two wins in ten games. Yes, someone does indeed have to win these contests.

Cardinals 5, Dodgers 1: New acquisition Matt Holliday led the offensive attack with three RBI including his first inning RBI double. Meanwhile, Chris Carpenter parried and thrusted around nine Dodger hits in seven innings to snag a tidy win. After the game, Holliday put on his Affliction t-shirt and was interviewed by the studio staff back at the MLB Network. Gotta look your best on cable, ya hear?

Red Sox 8, Athletics 3: Speaking of new acquisitions, Adam La Roche must feel at home in Fenway with his old pal Jason Bay because the dude blew up with two hits, an RBI and a run as part of a 14-hit BoSox attack. Josh Beckett struck out 10 A's while walking just one; fella moves to 12-4 on the year and celebrated by purchasing twelve more Affliction shirts after the game.

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I'm late to the party, but Ankiel's mustache is glorious.

Holliday needs to join that party

Was it his best Affliction t-shirt or an old raggedy one?

Starring Josh Willingham as "DOCTOR OCTOTOT"

Oh yeah, and Tim Lincecum went the whole 9 frames and struck out 15. No biggie.

And somehow the Mets won despite Adam Rubin's perfidy.

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