Cinema Varitek: The Pen, Episode 6

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The.Pen.Logo.jpg Each week (or so), Dan McQuade reviews a baseball movie. He also reviewed MLB Network's six-episode reality show The Pen, featuring the Philadelphia Phillies bullpen, which aired Sundays on the MLB Network. Previous installments: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5.

In the final episode of The Pen, we all learned what the show could have been. I know he was a starter at the beginning of the season, but The Pen really should have been The Chan Ho Show.

The producers gave a couple of the bullpen guys cameras to document what they did over the All-Star Break. Yes, the final episode of The Pen was pretty much exclusively about the break. Turns out the baseball highlights were necessary to carry the show, because absolutely nothing happened in this final one.

But back to Chan Ho Park. He took the camera, and put on a comedy spectacular.

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But he also had a message for Brad Lidge (oddly, not really even present in this episode).

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Look, we all know The Pen was kind of a doomed idea from the start, and the producers did a yeoman's job at times with the material. But they really blew it here. Clearly, Chan Ho Park should have been given a chance to do his stand-up.

But as you can see, not all reliever cams are created equal.

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And don't fret, ladies! In this final episode you can see Chan Ho shirtless!

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Rawr! You know you're intrigued by a major league reliever who isn't fat.

The other highlight of the final episode was the return of the reliever wives! We got a little cameo from Clay Condrey's wife the other episode, but in this last one we meet two more, Rie Park and Crystal Durbin.

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And, really, that's it. The show even included exciting action of Chad Durbin watching the All-Star Game!

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This was good, though, because we got to learn that Raul Ibanez apparently has old lady sunglasses.

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Ooh! Or maybe they're HD Vision wraparounds.

And, with that, The Pen ended with a five-minute highlight reel, even though the last episode aired at the end of a three-hour block of episodes. Eh, you know, whatever.


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8 Comments

Things that make me feel better about myself but shouldn't: Chad Durbin's TV.

That's the biggest TV they had at Rent-To-Own.

If you make over $1.5 million a year, and you're ostentatious enough to prominently display a digital picture frame on your mantel, you should have a much larger television. Period.

That living room is its own sort of grand slam: Cheesy carpet, cheesy window treatments (bonus: bent miniblinds!), cheesy wall art, fake fireplace. No questions asked.

Abuse the wholphin! Tigers get Jarrooodd Washburn!

M's get Luke French and a low-minors pitching prospect with a 23% swinging strikeout rate. Not a bad return for Seattle.

This is the wrong site to be looking at for abusing the wholpin, Colonel.

They live in TEMPORARY HOUSING. Most of these guys are renting their houses because on off season their real houses are somewhere else. Most of the players aren't originally from Philly or permanent Philly residents.

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