One Dumb Rosenthal Column Sends Fans into Frenzy Over Halladay

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If there's one thing Ken Rosenthal knows how to do, it's create a shitstorm of unsubstantiated rumours and malarkey that coats the entire baseballblogosphere with its retched brown inaccuracy. But this time, he got a quote straight from J.P. Ricciardi's mouth regarding otherworldly pitcher and eventual All Star Game starter Roy Halladay's trade prospects:

We have to see what's out there," Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi says. "I'm not saying we're going to shop him. But if something makes sense, we at least have to listen. We're (leaning) more toward listening than we've ever been."

Listening! J.P. Ricciardi is actually going to listen! Take it away, Drunk Jays Fans!

I know those maybe sound like the words of a Jays fan fiercely in denial, but they're really not. This is just fucking tiresome. How many times over the years has Ricciardi said--about not just Halladay, but any player--that "if something makes sense, we at least have to listen"?

Of fucking course he'll listen! Is that seriously all you've got???

The article--which is titled "Jays' Halladay all but gone in Toronto", though I'll give Kenny Ken Ken the benefit of the doubt that he didn't title the piece--is just a cheap way for Rosenthal to exploit a tiny shift in Ricciardi's language from statements month ago, get some face time and some page views, and to give sports talk radio shows an easy topic to run with. [Cue wanking motion].

Watch those wanking motions, Stoeten! You'll make fans of pitching-desperate teams water at the mouth. Here's The 700 Level blogger Enrico warning Philadelphia faithful to temper their hopes and dreams:

Just remember, Phillies fans, last year we hoped for CC Sabathia and got Joe Blanton. To quote my favorite economist, Mr. Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need."

Still, it's fun to dream of the dynamic duo of Hamels and Halladay. And for the record, I'd trade the Reading Phillies for Roy Halladay.

Jeez Enrico, I'd trade my grandmother AND my left nut for Roy Halladay but you don't see me going around publishing it on a blog, do you?

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If Ken had only used the word 'worsening' in his column the Jayblogosphere would have spontaneously combusted.

The good thing for Jays fans is the team owes Vernon Wells and Alex Rios $160mm through 2014. You stay flexible, Toronto!

Nobody cares about your fantasy team, Rosenthal.

My left nut is arbitration eligible after this season.

DMAC EXCLUSIVE REPORT MUST CREDIT WALKOFF WALK COMMENTS: The Blue Jays are possibly maybe listening to possible offers about Roy Halladay, Vernon Wells, Joe Carter and Jesse Barfield (name randomly selected from 1985 Blue Jays Baseball-Reference page).

NB: Ken Rosenthal and I are both alums of the fine college newspaper The Daily Pennsylvanian (Steven Glass, too).

There is nothing random about Jesse Barfield. He was made of magic. And BARF.

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