Black Seinfeld Throws Ceremonial First Slider, Chats With Costas

| | Comments (7)

With a well-played and short baseball game, the biggest controversies of the night were (a) whether President Obama bounced the first pitch to Albert Pujols, and (b) whether or not there were more folks booing him in Busch Stadium than cheering him.

Let there be no controversy: I have all the answers, people. First, the pitch:

Barry, with that unflattering cut of jeans and those white sneakers, you look like the black Seinfeld. But dude most definitely did not bounce that pitch. It was a perfect slider that even the most patient hitter would have swung at and missed completely. It was the ultimate followup to a George W. Bush fastball, fooling the hitter with its tax-and-spend deception. Obama totally capped and traded that pitch.

So, was Obama booed? Yes, of course he was. This is Missouri, the same state that gave us civil-liberties-hatin' John Ashcroft, boorish blabbermouth Rush Limbaugh, and Quantum Leap actor Scott Bakula, who hates the ozone layer and foreigners. What more would you expect from these flyover folk? Of course they're going to boo a change-up we can all believe in.

Earlier, Barry sat down with smarmy Bob Costas to chit-chat about baseball for 15 minutes:

Heck, I could even listen attentively to that guy talk about mixed martial arts for fifteen minutes. So dreamy!

PREVIOUS: Give Barack Obama The Ford C. Frick Award   |   NEXT: Which Canuck Should Have Shown Up to Belt Out "O, Canada"?


MMA demands fair and balanced coverage!

If President Obama is the black Seinfeld, does that make Costas the skinny Newman?

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah.

If a fan can't pay $400 for a ticket to boo the president, then what country do we live in?

See, now, if Leitch had kept an entourage of Secret Servicemen ringing his Costas appearance, we could have avoided the whole Bissinger unpleasantness.

That slider was so good, Joe Nathan threw it to Ryan Howard two hours later. Even got it to bounce on the plate, just like Obama's would have.

a change-up we can all believe in.


Leave a comment