The Grave and the Rose: Today's Afternoon Games

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Wednesday means three things: it's getaway day for half of baseball, it's the day of the week I wash my undergarments, and it's Liveglog day in the U.S.A. and parts of Canadia! Today, we bring you Dan McQuade to guide your hearts and minds through the Phillies-Cubs tilt at one o'clock. Be back here then, and give your summertime linen liveglog blazer a quick steam before you show up.

Other games on the sked this fine day:

  • Brewers at Pirates, 12:35PM: Jeff Suppan and Paul Maholm stare each other down in their search for rubber. It's like Fordlandia all over again except without the sweltering Brazilian heat, the malaria-ridden mosquitoes and the rioting low-wage workers. Unless you count Jack Wilson.

  • Cubs at Phillies, 1:05PM: The Phillies steamroller looks to keep flattening their opponents, albeit in a cute cartoonish way that allows them to pop back up and re-inflate in time for the next day's game. Jamie Moyer takes the hill against his former team to which he has never lost. Carlos Zambrano is on the prowl for the Cubbies, so be on your best behavior, Mr. Home Plate Umpire.

  • Orioles at Yankees, 1:05PM: The Orioles employ a rookie right-hander named Jason Berken who carries a 1-7 record with a 6.44 ERA into this day game in the most homerriffic ballpark in all the land. I have never heard of Berken and he has never faced the Yankees before today, but I can assure you he will throw seven innings of two-hit ball and strike out 10 dudes. That's just how these things work, people.

  • Diamondbacks at Rockies, 3:10PM: I miss the days when a D-Backs/Rockies tilt meant a clash between a whole lot of teal and a heckuva lot of purple, truly a result of the wacky 90's team color-choice miasma. Nowadays, the Diamondbacks' musky Sedona Red highlights and the Rockies' seductive black home unis have a more 2000's feel. Modernity is so boring sometimes. So is watching Jon Garland pitch.

  • Twins at A's, 3:35PM: Glen Perkins will drive his Cadillac up to the front door of Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum, bust out his honky-tonk guitar, and strum some rhythmic boogie against a poor Athletics lineup. Seven batters will strike out. Nine will ground out. Three will get hits and four will draw walks. In the end, the Twins will win 5-2 and Perkins will celebrate with a tall chocolate milkshake and his harmonica.

  • Marlins at Padres, 3:35PM: Florida looks to sweep the cellar-dwelling Padres, an otherwise simple task but don't look past Padres starter Josh Geer. No, seriously, don't look past Josh Geer, he's standing in front of a total solar eclipse and you'll go blind.

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3 Comments

What's Moyer's split record for "Games That Make Him Miss Afternoon Matlock"?

Break out the siren:

Adam LaRoche laleaves Pirates for Boston

I am all over this Live Glog like lotion on my cock.

matt_T, are you serious? Nice to see Boston get a solid hitter from another team for once. Also nice to see Pittsburgh realize this is not their year, and get rid of a solid hitter.

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