Umpire Mike Everitt and I Share Rooting Interests

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At least that's what LaTroy Hawkins thinks. During last night's Cubs-Astros game, LaTroy walked Derrek Lee in the eighth and then basically threw a hissy-fit. After being ejected for arguing balls and strikes, the outspoken Hawkins had this to say in a post-game interview with the Houston Chronicle's Jose de Jesus Ortiz:

"I thought it was a strike," Hawkins said. "And I told (Everitt), 'Come on, I need that pitch.' He don't need any help.' He said, 'Knock it off.' I waved him off, and he threw me out of the game. Maybe he was having a bad day. I thought he had determined who he wanted to win the game anyway."

If his theory is true (and I'll bet you $1 that it ain't), home plate umpire Mike Everitt was making bad calls against the 'Stros because he wanted the Cubs to win the game in regulation last night and head out on time for his 11:30 rezzie at Spiaggia. Which is bizarre, because anyone who's anyone knows that an umpire with dinner rezzies is going to call more strikes and fewer balls, not the other way around.

Still, if it was true, Everitt wouldn't be the only one with a rooting interest in the Cubs last night. First, the North Side Nine had the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth and had ample opportunity to end the game on a walkoff walk. Instead, Mike Fontenot attempted a suicide squeeze bunt but missed the pitch completely and the runner was out at home. Also, I pretty much want the Astros to lose every game so my theory holds a bit more water.

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Try the cheese tray at Spiaggia. Tastes great with Old Style.

Hawkins accused Everitt of being prejudice against people with six fingers on their hands. Everitt then reminded Hawkins that Antonio Alfonseca had the six fingers, not him.

LaTroy is French for "the Troy". What really got Hawkins pissed is when Everitt called him "LaTroilet".

The Astros and Hawkins deserve each other.

Now you're just baiting them.

Your next post ought to be "50 Places In Which I'd Like To See Nolan Ryan Die".

Or maybe The 52 Funniest Things About the Upcoming Death of Nolan Ryan.

(The original's laugh-out-loud line: "Pope survives just long enough to be acquired by Isiah Thomas for Stephon Marbury, 2005 #1 pick and cash considerations. 'We feel like we've made ourselves younger and more competitive,' Thomas says.")

Are you rooting against my team or for your theory?

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