Okay, that might be stretching the truth a bit. But Pedro Martinez says that his agent is currently in negotiations with the Philadelphia Phillies to help the aged Dominican make his gallant return to N.L. East pitching. And heck, if they can do a really quick turnaround with the signing, he can bump Cole Hamels from the hill and take his rightful place as the Official Home Team Starting Pitcher of the Walkoff Walk Field Trip: Citizens Bank Heist.
Too bad Phillies G.M. Ruben Amaro is in deny, deny, deny mode:
"I'm not talking about Pedro, and I haven't talked about Pedro," Amaro said.
Well, thanks for the info, Ruben. Don't bother asking me next time you need advice on good restaurants in the North Jersey area. Still, there's no doubt that the Phillies are deeply interested:
Phillies assistant to the general manager Charley Kerfeld watched Martinez throw on Tuesday in a simulated game against a Phillies summer league team in the Dominican Republic and came away impressed. Martinez's fastball reportedly reached the low 90s, according to reports. ESPN.com reported that the Phillies will watch Martinez throw again at 1 p.m. ET on Friday.
Ah so. It all makes sense because the Phillies starting rotation has been a combination of 'yuck' and 'ick' so far this year. It's pretty telling when Joe Blanton (Country Joe!) has been the best pitcher over the last month.
If the Phillies can get a healthy Pedro, he can be a good replacement for Brett Myers and his graham cracker hip. It's a value deal that doesn't mean the loss of any prospects like obtaining Roy Halladay or Erik Bedard would. Plus, even if Pedro loses every single start he makes except one mid-September start in CitiField that eliminates the Mets from playoff contention, it'll be worth it for fans of schadenfreude.