Long weekend Creampuffs! Spending the holiday weekend in crutches is no fun at all, we should all pity these poor, poor wusses. It takes a real man to run a BBQ.
- Adrian Beltre, Mariners: Beltre finally decided to have surgery on his ouchie shoulder and will miss the next 6 to 8 weeks as a result. Hurry back Adrian, you're a free agent next year!
- MIke Lowell, Red Sox: Rob broke down the repeated hip break downs earlier this week. Lowell's trip to the DL is only for some R & R, including the All Star break in his time off is by design. He should do what I do on vacation and drink Thai whiskey while provoking in international incidents.
- Khalil Greene, Cardinals: Deep, troubled sigh.
- Antonio Bastardo, Phillies: El Wed-lockless came out of his last start in Tampa complaining of shoulder tightness and clearly diminished velocity. Bastardo's first few starts were excellent but things quickly turned for the young lefty. There is no timetable for his return nor the return of his father. CUZ HE'S A BASTARD.
- Aaron Miles, Cubs: Hyperextended his elbow fighting off a wallaby. Teammates are quite disappointed as the wallaby was the only way to get Miles out of the lineup.
- Jorge Posada, Yankees: Posada took a foul tipped-fastball to the left thumb and is currently day-to-day. Posada's pretty old, he should really live each day moment-to-moment.
- Mark DeRosa, Cardinals: Oh no! The Cards offensive lynchpin is down with a strained tendon! Whomever will save Albert Pujols from himself? While not headed to the Differently Abled List, DeRosa missing any time at all will cause much tongue clucking among Cardinals fans. Cluck all you want, DeRosa isn't that good when he's healthy.
- Oppression and Tyranny, Freedom Haters: Out with a case of the USAs! USAs! Have a good Fourth peoples.