You Wouldn't Like Chipper Jones When He's All Fuzzed Up

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Chipper Jones and Mets fans have always had a love-hate relationship. Chipper loved to visit old Shea Stadium and smack some taters (so much that he named his kid Shea yadda yadda yadd), and Mets fans hated when Chip and the Braves smacked their rear ends in the division race every year.

Well now, the Mets play in CitiField and Shea Stadium is nothing more than blacktop and bad memories. So, what does Chipper feel now about the cold reception he gets from the Mets faithful? Jack Curry of the New York Times investigates:

"I just feel like they know that, over the years, I'm a pretty good dude," Jones said. "I'm not out to hurt anybody's feelings or anything like that. My job is to come out and beat the Mets 18 times a year."

I kind of wish that was in my job description, too. Sounds fun. And easy!

What about when the Mets fans boo you, Chip?

"Now I kind of smile," Jones said. "Ten years ago, I would've fuzzed up."

"I think if I were to come here and ever get cheered, you might see a young man have a premature heart attack," Jones said.

Ol' Chip, the only way you'll ever get cheered at CitiField is if you put on your camo gear, set Mike Lupica loose in the outfield, and hunt him like the cowardly animal he is. Heck, I'd pay 200 bucks to see that. Someone give that idea to the Wilpons. That'll help raise some fundage.


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5 Comments

Oooh ooh - I see Catshirt! He's in the tree by the toaster!

I assume "fuzzed up" is some southern slang for "impregnate a waitress".

Chipper is catnip for Catshirt

KNOW WHAT SCRATCHBOOM I WOULDNT EXPECT A GUY OF YOUR TYPE TO UNDERSTAND THE INS AND OUTS OF BEING A BRO SO YOU CAN JUST GO SCRATCH. OH AND I GUESS I SHOULD MENTION AGAIN THAT SOME KIND OF PC DOCTOR GOT AT THAT PICTURE BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER CHUM WITH A BUM LIKE CATSHIRT OH AND MR WRENBIRD SAID CAMO ON THE FIELD IS A NO GO SO THERE IS YOUR SECOND LIE RIGHT THERE

BUT YEAH THE REST OF MY STATEMENTS WERE TRUE ACCURACIES BECAUSE LETS FACE IT WHEN I WAS A KID I DIDNT HAVE MY BOLT SCREWED ON TIGHT ALL THE TIME AND I WAS A LOOSE CANNON WITH A SCREW LOOSE BUT THEN I TAMED THE FAME AND GOT WITH IT AND NOW I GET CHEERS WHEREVER I GO ESPECIALLY THE BAIT SHOPPE

I will also name my first born son after something that I am good at. His name will be Craps.

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