Brother of All, With Generous Hand: Today's Afternoon Games

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One afternoon game is an outlier but two is a trend. In that case, we fill time with daytime game previews and hope for the best.

  • Rays at Tigers, 1:05PM: Tampa looks to split a four game series with Jim Leyland's boys but Jarrod Washburn has other plans. No, seriously, Jarrod's got reservations at the Morton's in Detroit and will pitch lights out against the Rays so he can get his mitts on that bone-in ribeye with a side of creamed spinach that much quicker. After all, the lefty is 12-3 with a 2.59 ERA lifetime against the Rays. James Shields will do his best to ruin Jarrod's best laid-plans. He must be a vegan.

  • Pirates at Reds, 1:10PM: Fans are already filling the lower bowl at Great American Ball Park for today's main event as Whitey McCutchen makes his heralded big league debut. Kip Wells strolls to the hill to face his former employer and fill in for Aaron Harang, whose season ended with an emergency appendectomy last week. Emergency appendectomy? Sounds like a cheap excuse for wallaby rape to this blogger.

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So far, Jarrod Washburn is pitching like a man who needs to take a beef shit.

1-0 Reds. Drew Stubbs smacked a leadoff dong on Dan McCutchen's second ever MLB pitch.

Question of the ages: Why is the Hamburger Helper missing a finger? Did he lend one to Count Rugen or Antonio Alfonseca?

What do you think makes Hamburger Helper so meaty and delicious? Certainly it's not the hamburger.

Stubbs is quite the jack of all trades (

Are you saying it's The Jungle-type thing, Rob? We'll have to discontinue this discussion or we'll ruin the book's end for noted WoW reader Scott Rolen.

I don't know why they call that stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself.

/Cousin Eddie'd

You get plenty of meat at home, UU.

@njpa, so does my wife. Hi-yooo!


Congrats. My wife is a vegetarian.

/sad trombone


Name: Hamburger Helper
Bats: Middle
Throws: Middle
Assessment: All glove

Gorge, I first read that as a Neil Hamburger scouting report. But that's my life.

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