Chipper Jones Is Compassionate to Mexicans in His Backyard

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chipperandhisdearfriend.jpg

Some folks might think that Chipper Jones was being a bit insensitive to the plight of the illegal aliens that he rounds up on his Double Dime Ranch and hands over to the border patrol, but I disagree. To wit, here's a quote from Chipper on the radio:

People say that it's mean to call the border patrol, but who else are you gonna call? I mean, I'm not gonna spend my whole offseason driving illegals back...

Exactly, Chipper! Because really, consider his options. What was he supposed to do, murder them in cold blood? Hire them to clear brush on the ranch? Encourage Bobby Cox to name them as batboys? No, Ol' Chip does the right thing and phones the authorities.

Some people make the border patrol out to be some sort of Gestapo, but they're people just like you and me, albeit people armed to the teeth and charged with building a huge fence to keep brown folks out, but again, people nonetheless.

(via Daulerio at ESPN Deadspin)


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8 Comments

He's just making sure they don't sign with the Mets.

dey took er jerbs!

IM GETTING PRETTY FARTIN TIRED OF HAVING TO COME ON THIS WEBCHAT AND DEFEND MY RANCH AND MY KIN. LISTEN IT AINT NO WALK IN THE VALLEY TRYING TO UNWIND WITH YOUR 30 OUGHT 6 AND A LOG OF CHERRY SKOAL WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOURE OVERCOME BY BANDIDOS. NOW ME AND THEM ALWAYS HAD A REAL EQUITABLE TYPE RELATIONSHIP, SO I USUALLY DONT WALK IN FEAR, BUT ITS ONLY SO LONG YOU CAN GO LIVING IN A DOG CAGE BEFORE THE BEAST EYES YOU UP LIKE A THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH OYSTER STUFFING AND GET THIS STRAIGHT I AINT NO TURKEY

Let them in, someone needs to make Fritos.

Oddly enough, the ones that are not the heavily armed ones. Those people actually volunteer. I think border patrol are allowed to have flashlights however and can pull over as many spring breakers as they want.

@colonel

You're thinking of Joe Francis.

@matt_T: Roger Clyne and his Peacemakers will take care Chipper's varmints.

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