Cubs Amble Off to Desolate San Diego To Crawl Into a Hole and Die

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On the heels of last night's epic Kevin Gregg collapse that saw the Cubs blow a 1-0 ninth inning lead with two outs only to lose 4-1 on a Kyle Blanks walkoff dong, Andy Dolan at has come up with the perfect metaphor to describe the recent Cubs collapse:

There is a phenomenon in the animal world, particularly among dogs and elephants (of all things) where when they know they are going to die, they run away.

It is as though they want to spare others the trauma of seeing them die, so they just amble off to find a place to do it peacefully and quietly.

For a dog it might be a patch of woods or near an abandoned building. For an elephant it's probably anywhere south of the monkey cages.

For the Cubs? It was San Diego. If you can't do it in Pissburgh where nobody will notice, you do it in San Diego where next to nobody will.

It's sad, as Andy points out, since the Cubs and Cardinals were tied for first place in the NL Central just ten games ago and now sit a full six games behind St. Louis. It's not an epic collapse like the 1969 season when the Cubs blew an 8.5 game August lead to finish 8 games behind the Miracle Mets, and it's not like the time Ron Santo was leading diabetes by 5 games at age sixty and ended up having both legs amputated. But still, it's Chicago and it's a collapse, so we break out our schadenfreude hats.

I'm just confused about all the antipathy towards Cubs closer Kevin Gregg. What's the big deal about going 1-3 with three blown saves and an 11.25 ERA in the course of just two-and-a-half weeks? Oh...

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I'm not sure how to act in this situation. Phillies fans, help me out.

I don't see the news vans setting land speed records on their way to DC, Phoenix, or Cincinnati, bubba.

On the bright side, bargain hunters can rent the Cubs' intensity at historically low rates.

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