Germany's Ballet-Dancin' Billy Elliot Gets Wooed by Twins

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The Twins are thinking so far outside the box signing international amateurs that they've hopped the pond and are about to throw $800,000 at a 16-year-old German kid named Max Kepler-Rozycki. He's a 6-foot-3, 190-pound outfielder that some scouts are calling the next Shawn Green, except with a foreskin.

But the reason the Twins are betting long on a kid who is still two years away from his high school graduation is another pair of attributes scouts talk about, both inherited from his parents, former Berlin ballet stars. The first is genetics. Two athletes usually beget talented kids. The left-handed Max is so naturally coordinated he can hit a golf ball 250 yards--right-handed.

The Twins, really, are renting the intensity, passion and ambition that drive European high culture in a heady place like Berlin and hoping to convert those qualities into base hits.

That might be the worst sentence ever written in the English language. "Renting the intensity"? What's the hourly rate on ambition? And what is the conversion rate for passion to base hits? Is that like converting Fahrenheit to Celsius?

Obviously, the Twins are looking to exploit a burgeoning German market that is desperate to embrace the American pastime and spend their Euros on Justin Morneau jerseys instead of currywurst sandwiches and shitty electronic house music. And okay, maybe Max never actually took ballet lessons but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to do a lazy Photoshop.

(via BBTF Newsblog)


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12 Comments

If he makes it to the bigs, the ballet thing is going to be worse than OMG DID U KNO THAT DARRIN ERSTAD WAS A PUNTER IN COLLEGE. LOL HE PLAYS BASEBALL LIKE FOOTBALL

"he can hit a golf ball 250 yards--right-handed."

You can't pay enough money for skills like that. Should come in handy for the annual Twins' golf outing.

Miken Freek + Titlest Golf Ball = Technology giving you half the distance.

Thanks to this article, now I know where to get Billy Elliot tickets cheap for my trip to NYC next month!

In this market is much better to buy intesity

Seriously, signing a 16 year old German dancing queen is much better than signing a 39 year old Mississippi drama queen like their NFL counterpart did this morning. Ugh

I'm sure that Minnesota's sizable German-American population didn't play a role here. In unrelated news, the Mariners are still prospecting in Japan, and the Red Sox have opened a baseball school in County Cork.

And the Padres are merely driving up to street corners and picking up day laborers.

The Brewers are combing AA meetings and fat farms

The Rangers have scouts looking for church pastors in strip clubs.

@njp, if that's the case the Twins must also have scouts in Scandinavia.

I was riding a train in Germany last year and a German kid walked by in a Joe Crede Sox jersey. I have no idea why. It was awesome.

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