John Danks Realizes Ingesting Carcinogens Might Be a Bad Idea

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John Danks gave up chewing tobacco and then went out and held the Orioles to one run over six innings. Maybe there isn't exactly a causal connection between the antecedent and the consequent in that course of events, but whoever said I needed to prove causality died of oral cancer, so stick it.

Danks gave up his chaw addiction when he started suffering some circulation problems in his pitching hand about a month ago.

"I think it's something that it probably didn't help, but I'm over a month now without a dip, and it was something I wanted to do even before the finger problem," Danks said. "But definitely it's a battle for me to quit, but I feel like I'm past the worst, and it really is a big accomplishment for me to be able to quit."

In his preview for MLB.com, Jesse Temple suggests that "tobacco use can be known to have a hand in circulatory problems."

Wait a minute, does that mean that mechanically grinding shredded leaves of tobacco between my molars and cheeks to release nicotine into my entire circulatory system might actually be harmful to my health? I AM SO SURPRISED AT THIS PRESUMPTION AND DEMAND TO SEE PROOF. Oh, okay then.

I still firmly believe the head honchos at MLB need to ban chewing tobacco and dipping tobacco and deep-fried tobacco or whatever the kids are bringing to Turner Field nowadays. Dip and chaw are just as unhealthy as smoking cigs, and it's far more disturbing for the home viewer to watch David Ortiz spit out fetid black tobacco in HDTV than mere sunflower seeds.


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5 Comments

About 5 or 6 years ago a younger Chipper Jones decided to quit using tobacco. He went into a month long slump and picked it back up.

Maybe only quitting works for pitchers.

Aren't awful puns usually relegated to internet commentators rather that MLB.com's Jesse Temple?

Some MLB player needs to quit chew and start using snus.

eh, I'd rather not turn MLB into the NFL. Let the grown men use the legal substance. Postgame beer in the clubhouse is an issue I'd be more willing to get behind banning, what with the drinking and driving problem baseball seems to have. But otherwise guys doing dip are only hurting themselves, so I'd say Herr Bud has better things to worry about. Especially since the MLBPA is so strong. It's not worth fighting over.

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