TJ Simers Breaks The Ice With A Jackhammer

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We've had plenty of fun at the expense of oft-tarded LA Times writer TJ Simers. He likes to quote stir the pot unquote which usually just makes him look like a hacky antagonist. Well today, I'm tipping my cap to Simers. He's still being a hacky antagonist, but in today's column about Vicente Padilla, our boy Teej turned it to 11 and flat our harassed the new Dodger hurler. It bordered on self parody and I lollercoastered. To wit:

As introductions go, it was just like meeting Gary Sheffield again -- telling Padilla, "Word is you are a head case."

Better to say it to his face than behind his back, while also giving him a chance to set the record straight from his point of view.

But he just glared, visions of Milton Bradley dancing in my head, while Dodgers interpreter Kenji Nimura repeated the question to Padilla in Spanish -- also adding, "This is the man I told you about."

The problem child, finally speaking in response through Nimura, said, "If I caused so much trouble, I wouldn't be here."

"If that wasn't the case," I explained, "you wouldn't be here."

Another glare and Padilla said, "If you say so. What can I say?"

I thought he might explain why a baseball team wanting to win as badly as any other baseball team would just dump him, but every time I asked, he danced. Obviously, accountability is not one of his strengths.

"You asked me five times already," Padilla said through the interpreter, while making it clear he didn't like "the aggressive questions."

"This is the man I told you about." Classic. With LA's division lead now a mere 3.5 games, it's comforting to know that the most important thing for Simers is still getting out of his cushy office chair to go down and badger the new guy. The rest of the column takes potshots at Kenny Lofton, Randy Wolf and of course, Manny. Vintage crotchety vitriol from TJ.

Fittingly it's capped by Ramirez saying the most thoughtful thing in the whole piece. "Give the guy a break. We need pitching."

Way to stick it to the crazy old man.

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So TJ Simers is an older Tucker Max?

Simers pretty much lays out his m.o. in that article - rag on the team as much as possible and pretty much be a giant tool to the players. Ostensibly he's kidding around when he "complains" about the fact that the team is good gives him nothing to write about. But I seriously think this guy takes pleasure when the team is bad and is disappointed when they're good.

And no, I'm not just carrying a grudge because he bashed Philly last year during the playoffs (seriously, he was kind of mean). Mostly I carry a grudge because this guy is a shitty writer yet gets paid actual money to write about sports.

17 people in tacky sombreros and itchy bajas just showed up at the LA Times with protest signs. Padilla's Flotillas DEMAND justice.

"Vicente is a model citizen."

-- Ugueth Urbina

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