Cole Hamels Will Abduct Your Multi-Racial Children, Play With Them

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Cole Hamels and his super-hot wife Heidi (of Survivor fame!) have no children...yet. Heidi's due to pop one out this winter, but that's not stopping Mr. and Mrs. Hamels from abducting two random children to fool around with in bed in a magazine advertisement for their fancy-schmancy condo building in Philly. Words fail. The only thing I feel from these ads reproduced by Philebrity are massive douche chills.

(via the 700 Level)

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I've had some kinky experiences, but the couple-swapping about to happen in that pic really takes the cake.

Cole Hamels is so cool that he pops his tuxedo shirt collar.

Frank Thomas just saw the ad and is on his way there to beat some discipline into those kids. Whoevers kids they are

I don't know where you get "multi-racial", Rob--they both look perfectly Japanese to me.

+1, Gorge.

My girlfriend works for the photographer that did Hamels' wedding. Cole also recommended the photographer to Gavin Floyd. Floyd's finance looks . . . smart.

Also, Floyd's primary e-mail address is ridiculous, yet appropriate for a jock with a high school education.

Chief, whoever loses that thumb-wrestling match gets Cole. Think he's kidding around? Look at the dog's expression. He's seen things that would set your hair on fire.

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