Favoring Bluster Over Insight, ESPN Hires Bobby Valentine

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bobby_valentine_burger.jpg

Because Dave Winfield obviously isn't pulling his weight on the Baseball Tonight set, the eggheads at ESPN have decided to spice up their MLB coverage with an old friend, the recently unemployed Bobby Valentine. Valentine resigned as manager of the Chiba Lotte Marines despite the 100,000 signatures of delusional Japanese folks and is most likely looking for a top job back in the USA. So he'll probably use ESPN as a springboard à la Bob Brenly and Buck Showalter, right?

Valentine, who pulled no punches in front of the camera, has already proven he has TV chops (sources said "The Baseball Network" also showed interest in him), but still wants to manage.

Hey Bob Raissman, what the heck is "The Baseball Network"? My cable system gets the MLB Network but not "The Baseball Network". Way to have your finger on the pulse of sports media, bucko. Bob continues:

If he comes to ESPN, it may be under circumstances similar to those in 2003. That's when ESPN put a "protection" clause in Bobby V.'s contact.

Back then, ESPN suits set a precedent for hiring a manager-in-waiting. As part of the three-year offer negotiated with Valentine, network executives insisted that Valentine pay a monetary penalty if he bolted for a manager's job.

That's funny, because as a subscriber to ESPN's bevy of cable channels, I'd pay good money to keep this bloviating blowhard off of my airwaves and into the role as Mets manager. But with a rostrum of "analysts" that includes the moronic Steve Phillips and the confused John Kruk, I expect nothing less from ESPN than to hire this self-promoting, delusional butthead.

But heck, I haven't watched a lick of ESPN's Baseball Tonight all season long, thanks to the fine job done by the MLB Network. I'd rather have 6+ hours of live coverage without any coverage of lesser sports than the abysmal 'analysis' on ESPN. But if the rumour of the MLB Network pursuing Valentine is true, that's a real shame. After all, they have a perfectly good rostrum of on-air personalities, plus Ken Rosenthal.

(we owe a pallet of Cherry Coke to Big League Stew)


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16 Comments

The only way I'd watch Baseball Tonight is if they hired Jim Kaat.

Baseball Tonight was the best show on ESPN for a while. This year, though, MLB Tonight trumped the hell out of it. I expect that trend to continue...

How long before Bobby V wrings Steve Phillips' neck on the air? I say two weeks, tops.

network executives insisted that Valentine pay a monetary penalty if he bolted for a manager's job

But the joke was on them, see. Bobby just managed the next 2 and a half years wearing a fake mustache.

4 comments until we got our first "Bobby V in costume" joke. That is one more comment than paragraphs waited by author Bob Raissman. The WoW community is restrained.

Between this and Lasorda, you're having an angry day, huh.

Oh, sorry everyone, this is Bobby Valentine news?

What I meant was MUSTACHES MUSTACHES MUSTACHES MUSTACHES

The community is much more restrained than it looks, I'm just a schlock who eats barrels full of low hanging fruit.

Is that a pineapple slice on a mesquite-colored chicken patty burger I'm seeing?

Bobby announced his job at ESPN via some really cool phone that you can only get in japan but its like soo000oo000 much c00ler than an iPhone

The iTentacleRape?

The Japanese love their pineapple. /odd and unfounded stereotypes

@freetzy

I think so. Best of all, it's only sold in vending machines.

It's actually called the Bobby Burger. Yes, Bobby Valentine has a sandwich named after him. IN JAPAN. And it only costs $3.29!

@njpanick

Do you think it's the same vending machine that sells used schoolgirl panties?

@freetzy

They're part of the combo meal.

How many anchors are there on Baseball Tonight now, 15 or so?

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