Ichiro Reaches 2,000 Hits; Doug Fister's Hilarious Comment Lost In Excitement

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Editor's Note: I forgot we were supposed to be closed today. Bonus post! Fight unfair labor practices here and abroad (start with your food)! Have a good day off.

Ichiro Suzuki, man of 1,000 tagged WoW articles is now a man of 2,000 MLB hits. Ichiro smacked a double off of A's pitcher Gio Gonzalez, making him the second fastest player to reach the milestone. Former Philly A, Al Simmons was the fastest. In true Geoff Baker style we're reminded that Simmons died alone and destitute in the ">lede of the game story.

C'mon! This is a joyous occasion! We need levity. What was going on in the dugout after the hit?

In the dugout later, after Jose Lopez drove him home with a single, his teammates mobbed him with congratulations. Ken Griffey Jr. took the historic ball, which will be shipped to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., and according to Ichiro, wrote "some ridiculous things" on it.

Griffey told reporters his scribbling was a play on words with the first name of A's pitcher Gonzalez and a Geo Metro car.

"So, I signed it, 'Got a hit off a Geo Metro 09/06/09' " Griffey quipped.

You may see that as cheap and dated wordplay, but I see it as Griffey getting nostalgic for his past since he and the Metro* both had their heydays in the early 90s. But I digress.

As Baker notes, Ichiro's health has been tested this season but it seems to us that 3,000 hits and the Hall are likely and assured, repsectively. Unlike some of the other "lock" numbers associated with induction, 3,000 will probably escape the subjective steroidal invalidation by sportswriters. Not that I care anyway, but anyone that believes people who say steroids helps players heal from injury faster along with making them stronger (ie: doctors) could cast a suspicious eye on a longevity based number like hit total. But again, I don't really care. I am undoubtedly going to Ichiro's induction. That's gonna be one good speech.

Lost in all of the day's pageantry is one of my favorite quotes of the entire season. It's courtesy of a certain Seatlle rookie who's name we've all been enjoying. Join me everyone, and make sure you're not drinking anything.

"There was a little thing on my finger, but that didn't affect me,'' said Fister, downplaying the problem.
JESUS, MAN! QUIT DOWNPLAYING IT AND WASH THAT OFF.

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6 Comments

He's a man of 500 hits. The other 1,500 were ground balls to either SS or 2B that he outran because he cheats and is halfway down the first-base line when he makes contact and holy christ do I wish he played on the A's.

There was a little thing on my finger.
Dude, that line never works.

Even more exciting? Zombie Pete Franklin makes a move in the WoW fantasy league. More brains, bitches!

Guess who's batting lead off today.

Not that I care anyway, but anyone that believes people who say steroids helps players heal from injury faster along with making them stronger.

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