John Henry Has a Blog, No Idea How to Use It

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Hey, did you hear that rumbling noise? It's Red Sox owner John Henry crashing his Mercedes through the front window of the blogosphere. The man who stopped Tweeting once his failed jokes proved to be a curse for his team has been hired by NESN to put his thoughts to Windows Notepad. Take it away, dude with a lecherous-looking headshot:

As some of you know, this summer, I began Tweeting after Jack Welch convinced me that it could be entertaining and fun -- for me, not for my readers!

Cripes, flagrant namedropping's a helluva way to start off your new blog, John.

But I quickly found out that having a sense of humor on Twitter produces quite an effect. Perhaps people don't generally expect a baseball owner to have a sense of humor. It's almost certainly of paramount importance to have a sense of humor, though, over the course of the seasons. Tom Werner and I manage to laugh about certain things on a daily basis. When you lose 60 games a year, you need comedy. And Tom's had a magnificent career in comedy.

First off, it is widely accepted that any attempt at sarcasm or humor on Twitter be followed by a separate Tweet consisting solely of the winky-face. You know, this guy:


Oh! Someone must be kidding about something! Hilarious.

Secondly, leave the humor to the unemployed bloggers with miserable lives who spend hours and hours thinking up hilarious rejoinders and bon mots in our garden-level apartments and suburban condos. We have nothing but time to create the funny; you, John Henry, have a massively rich baseball team, a teenage bride, and Maroon 5 records to keep your idle mind busy.

Blog all you want, but we've got a monopoly on funny.

(via the inimitable BBTF Newsblog)

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Murray Chass no longer recognizes the Red Sox existence.

Sorry, John, if you wanted cred, you would have started a tumblr about Wally the Green Monster

I'd read that tumblr.

Agreed, matt. And make a fake Don Orsillo or Jerry Remy twitter account while you're at it!

It would be called FuckYeahWally, of course.