Walkoff Walk Officially Has More Assets Than Lenny Dykstra

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It's true, Walkoff Walk has earned over $100 in ad sales in the seven months since we added (EDIT: THINGS THAT MAKE US MONEY)! Every click gets us closer to hiring Murray Chass. Not only is that enough to cover seven months of InterWeb hosting, we have enough cash left over to buy some of that frivolous fraudster Lenny Dykstra's many exciting assets. It's true! He's bankrupt, we're not. To wit:

The bankrupt ex-ballplayer is auctioning off memorabilia from across his storied 12-year career - including his diamond and gold 1986 World Series championship ring.

The bidders are unlikely to include the nearly two dozen businesses and individuals who charge the hardnosed player known as Nails bilked them of millions of dollars.

Also up for auction: Dykstra's home run ball from Wrigley Field's first ever night game, his 1986 replica World Series trophy, and a surgically-removed tumor from his jawbone.

But wait, why is Dykstra suddenly bankrupt? Do you mean Lenny Dykstra wasn't really a stock market whiz and that he was basically just running a cheap Ponzi scheme? And now he's been barred from his former multi-million dollar mansion because he was stealing fancy items from within to sell and repay his debts? I knew you were full of crap all along, Dykstra profile writer Ben McGrath. Now I don't feel bad one bit about canceling my New Yorker subscription.

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That New Yorker piece is even more delicious in retrospect.

...and now you both live in your parents basements.

Eustace Tilley spits on your grave.

Eustace Tilley spits on your grave.

Guy Clark spits on your grave.