Things had been going pretty well for Matt Stairs. Last October, he hit his first ever postseason homer at the most opportune time, helping the Phillies reach the World Series. Then there was the offseason, where he presumably coached some hockey and didn't pay for beers any time he met a Phillies fan. Early on this year, Stairs was on fire. As recently as June 6 he had slash stats of .324/.500/.618. That was good for an OPS+ of a billion. Or, y'know, maybe less.
Stairs had some Walkoff Walk-related heroics, too. No, he didn't have a walkoff walk, but he did homer in the Phillies 5-run rally in the ninth at the Citizens Bank Park Heist. "CAT STAIRS," everyone screamed, and my girlfriend was all, "Why the hell are they talking about my cat?"
Believe it or not, Matt Stairs has not had a hit since that home run on July 11. He's on an 0-for-27 streak after a pinch-hit strikeout last night. He's gone almost two months without a hit! He's not getting a ton of playing time, but that's still an incredible hitless streak. I say it rivals Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hit streak.
Stairs says it's the worst slump of his career. He also said, "I'm just an old guy hitting a door with a bat," so maybe we shouldn't listen to him too much.
Supposedly, Stairs has a hitch in in swing, but is having problems correcting it with the limited at-bats. Please. I think we all know that somehow the fine people at the Walkoff Walk Citizens Bank Heist accidentally cursed him after his homer in the bottom of the ninth on July 11. Whatever one of you did -- I'm looking your way, Kris Liakos -- please correct it as soon as possible.