Everybody Loves Leaving Work Early for Baseball, Raymond

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Who says 5PM is an odd time to have a baseball game? Rare is the opportunity for us work-a-day folks to skip out early from the typewriter factory to get to our comfy couches and backless barstools and watch a Very Important Elimination Game. And if you choose to take in the game at your local watering hole, you'll make it in time for happy hour. Two dollar well margaritas for everyone!

The Twins and Tigers will play game number one-hundred and sixty-three to decide the winner of the American League Central; the winner hops on an airplane to Laguardia for some ethnic cuisine and to play the Yankees, while the loser whines about not even getting paid overtime for some lousy 5PM game in some dumpy stadium.

Your pitching matchup this evening features young Rick Porcello and less young Scott Baker. Besides the significant monetary difference in their signing bonuses, Porcello and Baker produce quite different results from their pitches. With a sinking fastball and 54% of balls in play coming on the ground, Porcello is one of the top 5 groundball pitchers in the league; Baker at 34% is in the bottom five.

Combine Porcello's affinity for wormballs with the Tigers top-notch infield defense and you've got an equation for success. Baker, however, led his team with 27 tater tots allowed as 10% of his fly balls allowed left the park. A couple ill-placed breaking balls in the strike zone and the Twins will find themselves behind early in their own house.

And yet another reason to tune in today: that dumpy stadium may be hosting its final baseball game today if the Tigers prevail. It might be your chance to say good bye to the Metrodome, which will be imploded immediately following the Twins' elimination from the postseason to make room for the world's largest Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Come back to Walkoff Walk at 5PM EDT and you can help us liveglog the proceedings, airing on TBS and featuring the dulcet tones of Chip Caray, the dullard tones of Ron Darling, and the never-dull jackets of sideline reporter Craig Sager. Yikes, I'd rather not drill a hole in his hotel wall to film the sartorial mess within.

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Important game with high viewer potential at 4 p.m. Central. Keep innovating, MLB Schedule Makers.

There are going to be a lot of pissed of hausfraus when they turn on TBS and that zany Raymond is no where to be found

I'll be here, and I expect the rest of you scrubs to be, too.

I'll be late to the liveglog proceedings, but I'll be there. These one-game playoff thingies are awesome.

I imagine I'll be checking in around the time of the Twins victory dance, depending on traffic on the Beltway.

If I leave a little early, I might even be home in time to see Rodney serve up the game winning homer to Mauer!

I'll be home, not at Old Country Buffet, eating dinner and probably telling my daughters to eat theirs if they want dessert.

I will be at said ball game. I will be right behing home plate on the 2nd level 5 rows up next to the girl with the "Marry me Joe"* sign.

*My wife

I'll be here because I'm unemployed.
And there's nothing else to do on a beautiful sunny day in San Francisco.

I'll be at a cocktail party in midtown discussing film financing. For as short a time as is socially acceptable.

I'll be presenting to 500 people, hoping to not make an ass of myself, then hoping to make it to the glog by about the third inning.

I'll be at an Idea Generation Seminar from 6P-9P. Here's an Idea: let's get the fuck out of here and go home/to a bar/anywhere besides an Idea Generation Seminar.

Yes, 6PM TO 9PM. DMac, if you strapped some hot dogs to your chest and ran around Market Street in Old City at about 5:50, I wouldn't be mad at you.

Sorry, njpanick, I can't generate any ideas of ways to get myself off my couch and go outside. Yay unemployment!

You just generated a great idea, Honeynut. See? Now you don't need to go to the fucking seminar.

But they're serving "a deli-style" dinner. Perhaps they're going to treat us in a surly fashion and then get our orders wrong, like most of the delicatessens around here. Can't miss that.

Enjoy the liquor and delicatessen, honeynut. Just make sure you keep away from the riding mower.

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