New Cubs owner Tom Ricketts desperately wants to endear himself to his new team's fanbase. How is he going about doing that? Is it with lots of promotional giveaways and fan-centered events? Err, no. He's actually promising them a World Championship next year. I see no way in which this doesn't end in tears. But we should totally believe him, guys!
Tom Ricketts and his family took ownership of the Chicago Cubs and wasted no time making a promise to the team's long-suffering fans: They will bring a World Series title to a team that has gone 101 years without one.
"I'll be honest. I think we have a team that can do it next year," Tom Ricketts said without hesitation Friday at a Wrigley Field news conference. "The fact is, there is enough talent coming back to this team next season."
Cubs fan have heard that before, of course. For the record, Ricketts doesn't buy the talk of a curse that was put on the team at the 1945 World Series--the Cubs' last appearance--by a man who was ejected from a game with his pet goat.
"There is no curse. There is no curse," Ricketts said. "If anybody on our team thinks he's cursed, we will move him to a lesser-cursed team."
Awww! It's so cute when they try so hard! However, this story gives us a unique opportunity, people. It's rare that one animated GIF from the Internet can so easily encapsulate the thoughts of an entire fanbase, but in this case there is only one thing that Cubs fans can be thinking: