Turns Out Miguel Cabrera Was a Really Naughty Boy

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More information has come out about Miguel Cabrera's late night drunken revelry that led to his wife's desperate 911 call. Turns out that the Tigers organization had banned him from the very bar that got him soused on mojitos Friday night because of an earlier incident.

Dave Dombrowski and the Tigers higher-ups told Cabrera he should not return to the Rugby Grille at the Townsend Hotel in Birmingham (it has an 'e' at the end of the word 'grille'...it must be fancy!) because of his earlier misbehavior at the bar:

(In August) a man told Birmingham police that he and an unnamed teen encountered Cabrera at the Rugby Grille on Aug. 31 about 6:30 p.m. Cabrera allegedly asked the teen, who weighs about 300 pounds, "What's up, big boy? You need to work out,"

The teen then asked Cabrera to stop taunting him and said, "Let me be."

But it became confrontational, the man told police: Cabrera allegedly challenged the man and the teen. "'You don't know me or where I am from," he allegedly said. "Let's go right now. I'll fight both of you right now. Let's go outside." At one point, the man told police he felt that Cabrera intimated that he had a gun, saying he was going to go to his vehicle and get his "click-clack" and making a motion with his hands that he interpreted as the racking of a handgun.

Enormously oversized pot, meet enormously oversized kettle. It's just another case of someone with severe body issues dealing with his problems by lashing out at another fatty, or very similar to the time Babe Ruth went into a hitting slump and blamed it on that dastardly President Taft. Still, at least Miggy was picking on someone his own size. Maybe next time he'll avoid the Rugby Grille and hit up T.G.I. Friday's with Allen Iverson.

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Pam Beasly feels his pain

If he goes to TGI Friday's, I know a guy named Mac who can loan him his Dave and Buster's card.

I thought "click clack" was the universal signal for "I'm going to go put on my Under Armor".

Under Armor! Wicks away moisture for optimal wifebeating.

Gorge, you win the day sir.

Under Armor: See? Athletes Can Be Pretentious Fucktards, Too!

This is some really, really hearty irony. Campbell's could can this stuff and add it to their Chunky soup line.

One of Cabrera's good friends from his Marlin days was beanpole Juan Encarnacion.

Miggy really hates fatties.

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