Thanksgiving Questions

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Hey kids, it takes more than a wishbone.

  • WILL the Cardinals ever have an introductory press conference for hitting coach Mark McGwire? When the hire was announced I had no idea why the team would want to invite such a ridiculous media frenzy upon themselves. It appears they might be feeling the same way.

  • WHO'S excited for the Mets' new uniforms? Their opponents! New look, same gimpy losers.

  • WILL Angels fans miss Rex Hudler in the broadcast booth? He and play-by-play guy Steve Physioc were dumped by Fox Sports. Former Cy Young winner and amiable surfer dude Mark Gubicza will take over for Hudler, a trade that is almost as one sided now as it would have been during their playing days.

  • ARE Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau the bosomiest buddies in all of baseball?

  • AND is it possible in this baseball day and age that friendship could be the key to a top tier player resigning with his hometown team? No way. But it's nice how Joe Christensen (one of our favorite newspaper guys) gets all caught up in the good vibes of the holiday season.

  • HOW hard will Rinku and Dinesh be training this offseason back in the village?

  • DID you know there is a new version of Let's Make A Deal? It's hosted by Wayne Brady and has the same cheesy music and everyone in the audience is dressed up like an idiot. I just saw 3 minutes of it. Amusing.

  • DO you crave graphs after downing your Turkey Day feast? Well get ready to smother some interesting data in gravy, because our friends to the North don't get time off this week. Thanks, Drew!

That up there is Arlo doing Alice's Restaurant. Listening to that fine tune on Thanksgiving is a tradition of many across this land, so we might as well make it one here too. Remember there is still time to donate to your local food bank if you haven't already.

Have a good long weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Happy Thanksgiving.


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23 Comments

White Sox stock up on plantains and sign Andruw

On Christmas, we'll post "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald".

Should I be embarrassed that I have "Edmund Fitzgerald" on my iPod?

Chief,

Yes, you should. But I'm a rock musician, so consider the source.

Beer and appetizers are way better than turkey today. Belee dat.

The Jays signed Alex Gonzalez AND John MacDonald. Any team out there need a passionate blogger? I work cheap.

Umm...Mark Gubicza came a lot closer to sniffing a Thanksgiving turkey than he ever came to sniffing a Cy Young.

Expect when he came third in Cy Young voting in 1988.

Also, who DOESN'T sniff the turkey? How do you know if it's fresh?

My tummy hurts.

Ms. Wahoo's mom made homemade zeppole. I'm eating a leftover one right now.

What's a zeppole, and where can I get one?

Wait until March 19th, then follow Iracane to the fair.

HEADLINES:

Red Sox sign Tug Hewlett, take week off.

Yankees express interest in Matt Holliday, let Mets talk themselves out of him.

I'd show you a picture, Fartie, but I don't have an x-ray machine. They're sweet dough shaped into balls, deep-fried and rolled in powdered sugar. Pretty much what Jesus' testicles must have tasted like.

WHO WANTS ME TO WRITE STUFF THIS WEEKEND?!

Mmm...fried dough. Sounds rad.

I'm into it, 310. I'll be reveling in my own drunken pestilence the entire time. Some stats ain't gonna hurt all that. Tell ya what: if you write some shit, I'll say something off-topic and get ignored. Deal?

After a week in Dallas, seeing the new Cowboys stadium and watching the Stars, I miss baseball.
But Cajun turkey is the shit.

If any of you offered me a choice of a blow job, or cajun turkey...I'd ask to see a picture of you. Then I would probably take the cajun turkey. That shit is like crack.

Also crack? Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. And leftover turkey and potato-leek soup with gouda. And being sent constant updates by my stat-geek friends on up-and-coming A's players who will probably be starting by May.

WOOOOO! Brett "E5" Wallace!

That Celebration Ale is quite good, although it tastes exactly like another beer to me. I can't put my finger on it though.

In case anybody missed it: http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/11/28/the-dugout-most-handsome-player/

HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN TAMPA BAY, PEOPLE

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