I understand the following is sort of arbitrary and doesn't mean that much. OR DOES IT????
I took the top 50 position player salaries for 2009 and then I divided them by games played. It's one thing to get injured alot. It's an entirely nother thing to be a dole ridin' Puff who sits at home eating bon bons while your brothers take on the Diamondbacks.
Follow me after the jump as we single out 2009's Paper Tiger.
Here's the top 50 by their 2009 salary and games played.
| NAME | SALARY | GAMES PLAYED | $ PER GAME |
| Alex Rodriguez | $33000000 | 124 | 266129 |
| Manny Ramirez | $23854494 | 104 | 229370 |
| Derek Jeter | $21600000 | 153 | 141176 |
| Mark Teixeira | $20625000 | 156 | 132211 |
| Carlos Beltran | $19243683 | 81 | 237576 |
| Carlos Lee | $19000000 | 160 | 118750 |
| Magglio Ordonez | $18971596 | 131 | 144821 |
| Torii Hunter | $18000000 | 119 | 151260 |
| Ichiro Suzuki | $18000000 | 146 | 123287 |
| Alfonso Soriano | $17000000 | 117 | 145299 |
| Aramis Ramirez | $16900000 | 82 | 206097 |
| Todd Helton | $16600000 | 151 | 109933 |
| Ryan Howard | $15000000 | 160 | 93750 |
| Vladimir Guerrero | $15000000 | 100 | 150000 |
| Miguel Tejada | $14811415 | 158 | 93743 |
| Lance Berkman | $14500000 | 136 | 106617 |
| Albert Pujols | $14427327 | 160 | 90170 |
| Miguel Cabrera | $14383049 | 160 | 89894 |
| J.D. Drew | $14000000 | 137 | 102189 |
| Matt Holliday | $13500000 | 156 | 86538 |
| Adrian Beltre | $13400000 | 111 | 120720 |
| Derrek Lee | $13250000 | 141 | 93971 |
| Jorge Posada | $13100000 | 111 | 118018 |
| Michael Young | $13054527 | 135 | 96700 |
| David Ortiz | $13000000 | 150 | 86666 |
| Jim Thome | $13000000 | 124 | 104838 |
| Hideki Matsui | $13000000 | 142 | 91549 |
| Johnny Damon | $13000000 | 143 | 90909 |
| Mike Lowell | $12500000 | 119 | 105042 |
| Kosuke Fukudome | $12500000 | 146 | 85616 |
| Troy Glaus | $12137000 | 14 | 866928 |
| Paul Konerko | $12000000 | 152 | 78947 |
| Carlos Delgado | $12000000 | 26 | 461538 |
| Jose Guillen | $12000000 | 81 | 148148 |
| Eric Byrnes | $11666667 | 84 | 138888 |
| Scott Rolen | $11625000 | 128 | 90820 |
| Justin Morneau | $11600000 | 135 | 85925 |
| Travis Hafner | $11500000 | 94 | 122340 |
| Eric Chavez | $11500000 | 8 | 1437500 |
| Jermaine Dye | $11500000 | 141 | 81560 |
| Chase Utley | $11285714 | 156 | 72344 |
| Joe Mauer | $10500000 | 138 | 76086 |
| Gary Matthews | $10400000 | 103 | 100970 |
| Chipper Jones | $10000000 | 143 | 69930 |
| Carlos Guillen | $10000000 | 81 | 123456 |
| Juan Pierre | $10000000 | 145 | 68965 |
| Mike Cameron | $10000000 | 149 | 67114 |
| Aaron Rowand | $9600000 | 144 | 66666 |
| Julio Lugo | $9250000 | 88 | 105113 |
Then I rearranged the Google Docs so that I was looking at Dollars Per Game. It looks like this:
| NAME | SALARY | GAMES PLAYED | $ PER GAME |
| Eric Chavez | $11500000 | 8 | 1437500 |
| Troy Glaus | $12137000 | 14 | 866928 |
| Carlos Delgado | $12000000 | 26 | 461538 |
| Alex Rodriguez | $33000000 | 124 | 266129 |
| Carlos Beltran | $19243683 | 81 | 237576 |
| Manny Ramirez | $23854494 | 104 | 229370 |
| Aramis Ramirez | $16900000 | 82 | 206097 |
| Torii Hunter | $18000000 | 119 | 151260 |
| Vladimir Guerrero | $15000000 | 100 | 150000 |
| Jose Guillen | $12000000 | 81 | 148148 |
| Alfonso Soriano | $17000000 | 117 | 145299 |
| Magglio Ordonez | $18971596 | 131 | 144821 |
| Derek Jeter | $21600000 | 153 | 141176 |
| Eric Byrnes | $11666667 | 84 | 138888 |
| Mark Teixeira | $20625000 | 156 | 132211 |
| Carlos Guillen | $10000000 | 81 | 123456 |
| Ichiro Suzuki | $18000000 | 146 | 123287 |
| Travis Hafner | $11500000 | 94 | 122340 |
| Adrian Beltre | $13400000 | 111 | 120720 |
| Carlos Lee | $19000000 | 160 | 118750 |
| Jorge Posada | $13100000 | 111 | 118018 |
| Todd Helton | $16600000 | 151 | 109933 |
| Lance Berkman | $14500000 | 136 | 106617 |
| Julio Lugo | $9250000 | 88 | 105113 |
| Mike Lowell | $12500000 | 119 | 105042 |
| Jim Thome | $13000000 | 124 | 104838 |
| J.D. Drew | $14000000 | 137 | 102189 |
| Gary Matthews | $10400000 | 103 | 100970 |
| Michael Young | $13054527 | 135 | 96700 |
| Derrek Lee | $13250000 | 141 | 93971 |
| Ryan Howard | $15000000 | 160 | 93750 |
| Miguel Tejada | $14811415 | 158 | 93743 |
| Hideki Matsui | $13000000 | 142 | 91549 |
| Johnny Damon | $13000000 | 143 | 90909 |
| Scott Rolen | $11625000 | 128 | 90820 |
| Albert Pujols | $14427327 | 160 | 90170 |
| Miguel Cabrera | $14383049 | 160 | 89894 |
| David Ortiz | $13000000 | 150 | 86666 |
| Matt Holliday | $13500000 | 156 | 86538 |
| Justin Morneau | $11600000 | 135 | 85925 |
| Kosuke Fukudome | $12500000 | 146 | 85616 |
| Jermaine Dye | $11500000 | 141 | 81560 |
| Paul Konerko | $12000000 | 152 | 78947 |
| Joe Mauer | $10500000 | 138 | 76086 |
| Chase Utley | $11285714 | 156 | 72344 |
| Chipper Jones | $10000000 | 143 | 69930 |
| Juan Pierre | $10000000 | 145 | 68965 |
| Mike Cameron | $10000000 | 149 | 67114 |
| Aaron Rowand | $9600000 | 144 | 66666 |
1. This is a really good way to visualize how much money A-Rod makes and how much the Yankees pay in general, but I digress.
1a. That's actually 51 names, but I had to include Lugo.
1c. LOOK AT WHAT A LOWLIFE ERIC BYRNES IS.
B. "Who's the Thievin' Creampuff, you bastard?"
I'm glad you asked. By sheer numbers it should be Chavez, but that dude is a fossil. Gas comes out of his pores. No one expected him to do anything this year, and frankly I'm shocked he appeared in 8 games. Did he just walk across the infield in a white Polyphonic Spree robe with talcum on his face?
That dude doesn't count.
When I was at Cardinals camp in March (which feels like ten years ago) I watched Glaus in the cage. I watched him horsing around in the locker room, and I listened to him tell ME that he was "feeling pretty good, but he was going to take it day by day."
Well that's a novel idea. But you didn't play much at all. And you make too much. And you're a huge creampuff.
TROY GLAUS YOU'RE A CROOK. 2009
P.S. If you wonder why the Cubs did so bad, look at that list.
Only thing Glaus took day by day was a dump. And wiped his ass with Franklins.
Rocco Baldelli got paid about $5000 per game, plus a bonus vial of Drew's tears on a biweekly basis.
Oh what a data dump by Catshirt!
/YesMichaelKay'd
Now do GM salary vs. games won.
Also, to hell with Troy Glaus and his lying mouth.
WHAT NO JOSE REYES HES A CROOK HE STOLE MORE MONEY THAN MADOFF
This should be renamed the honorable Carl Pavano Annual Creampuff Award.
@BoL-
Prior to his rejuvenated 2009 campaign, I'd have agreed with you. Now it just looks like Pavano stole money from the Yankees, which I wholeheartedly endorse.
Also, any player who participated in more than 150 games should be removed from this list. That's pretty much the line of Creampuff demarcation.
Next, measure the amount of money each team paid its players for walkoff hits. Andre Ethier will be through the roof.
Well, if this award can't be named after Carl Pavano, then I nominate Mike Hampton to be the namesake.
Where is Xavier Nady on this list?