Cubs Censure Caustic Clouter, Collect Chucker Carlos, Cash

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This one's been stewing for a bit today, but Geoff Baker makes it official: the Mariners are sending pitcher Carlos Silva and $9 million in cash to the Cubs in exchange for outfielder Milton Bradley, pending approval by the Commissioner's office. Ponder that for a second. The Mariners added a high OBP, high risk, high reward, high emotion guy and all they had to do was shed one of the worst pitchers in baseball with one of the worst contracts in pro sports and some cash?

Silva will "replace" Rich Harden in the Cubs rotation, unless the team decides it'd be better off resurrecting Fergie Jenkins' bloated body and propping him up on the pitchers mound once every five days. Either way, right?

Bradley heads out from the insane atmosphere of the Second City into the bloggy world of Seattle baseball fandom. Instead of dealing with racist fans in the bleachers, he'll put up with nerds like Dave Cameron shouting things like, "Your wOBA is great!" and "That declining UZR/150 makes me think you ought to be a DH, sir!" at him. Either way, right?

The Mariners are still a couple bats short of a pennant contender, but if GM Jack Zduriencik can pull off some more magical trades with poorly-run teams like the Cubs, it might be high time to bet your 401(k) on the Mariners winning the West.

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I totally forgot I was going to use this animated GIF instead:

I put $5 on the Mariners to win the pennant
Which coincidentally was what is left in my 401(k) after the xxxtreme recession.

YOU FORGOT THE TM! Consider yourself in arrears, sir.

Not having to see Carlos Silva's fat face during M's games any longer more than makes up for having to negotiate airport hell again today. Seriously friends, if you have to fly anywhere during the next week or so, show up drunk.


I am waiting on a flight at Logan at the moment and things couldn't be pleasanter. Not to mention I walked in here from 12 degree weather and will be walking out to 70 degree weather. THANKS WRIGHT BROTHERS.

Carlos Silva sucks, but I am amazed at just how many different fat jokes we've made about the man.


My friend Tim who pays way more attention to the offseason than I do had this to say about the rival M's:

"At this point the M's have taken a team that was already pretty decent and have done the following:

Replaced Beltre with Figgins
Replaced Endy Chavez with Rage*
Replaced Carlos Silva with Cliff Lee

And they've been able to do all of this without spending much more or losing any real prospects.

That is a hell of an off season."

*Rage is part of Milton Bradley's codename

PS - I am going to Cabo tomorrow. Let yoiu all know if I find any prospects.

Cabo? Bastard. Enjoy.

Milton Bradley on your team is not a good thing over the course of a season. Read the article below and everytime you see the word "Cubs" replace it with any team Bradley has been on in the last five years. Heck, for brevity just replace the word "Cubs" with the word Mariners....,0,2018115.story

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