Surprise! It's time for the baseball Winter Meetings! Remember last year when the Winter Meetings were held in sunny Las Vegas and all the baseball writers put $10 on the Mets to win the World Series? Boy howdy they must be cursing the baseball gods today as they wake up to snow in the world's most mediocre city: Indianapolis! Marvel at the Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument! Educate yourself at the Eiteljorg Museum of American Indians & Western Art! Visit Will Carroll's house and stand in awe at Jenn Sterger's bosoms!
Remember back in nineteen-dickety-eight when the Rangers traded Oddibe McDowell to the Indians for Julio Franco? And then they got Rafael Palmeiro and Jamie Moyer from the Cubs? And Larry Lucchino bought the Orioles for $70 million? It's true, it's all here in the Ocala Star-Banner, a part of the media known as a 'newspaper', sort of an ancient precursor to blogs. Imagine walking to your local bodega and picking up a printed transcript of MLB Trade Rumors on paper. Bizarre, I know!
Here are things that will happen this week: (1) the Veterans Committee will ignore Marvin Miller once again when they induct managers, umpires, and executives into the Hall of Fame, (2) the Rule 5 Draft, when baseball GMs pretend to outsmart one another for the services of a switch-hitting backup peanut vendor and (3) beat writers will be positively agog about nothing and everything simultaneously on Twitter. Worst of all for our pals in Old Media, there is no In-N-Out Burger in the entire state. How will they survive?
UPDATE (10:15AM): Former manager Whitey Herzog and umpire Doug Harvey have been elected to the HOF by Tommy Lasorda and the rest of the nepotistic Veterans Committee. Labor pioneer Marvin Miller came up two votes shy.