Scott Boras is the (Albert) Belle of the Ball

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At these Winter Meetings, Super Agent Scott Boras represents the creme de la meh of an otherwise unimpressive free agent class. Sluggers Matt Holliday and Adrian Beltre, wealthy backup catcher Ivan Rodriguez, new Oriole Opening Day pitcher Kevin Millwood, and most importantly, latest Mariner whipping boy Corey Patterson are all Boras clients and have made news this week. Past Holliday and Beltre, there's not a ton of demand.

But does that increase or decrease his visibility and ability to make a scene? Just look at this video from Seattle beat blogger Geoff Baker:

You wouldn't see baseball writers and reporters get this a-tizzy over anything or anyone quite in the same way they hunt down Scott Boras for a bon mot. Well, unless Martha Stewart herself waltzed into the media room with a cardboard box full of In-N-Out burgers. Writers followed Boras through the Marriott lobby, up an staircase, and towards an open space on the second floor where more writers were waiting with gleeful anticipation.

Of course, Baker simply edited the video to show the vital Mariners bits in two quick minutes. But Boras held court for well over 30 minutes with a larger scrum than any other agent, manager, or hefty gadabout could procure. He's a star representing stars.

It doesn't matter what the economics of the day might be: Scott Boras is the alpha and omega of wheelings and dealings. In a bull market for players, he's driving salaries up and we want to read his quotes. In a bear market for players, he's still keeping salaries high and we still want to read his quotes. "How dare Boras demand so much money from those poor owners," we say and our intermediaries in the press get us our answers.

This year, Boras is selling Holliday as his number one client. Holliday is as good as Boras' big-time client from last year, Mark Teixeira, Boras claims. Holliday is better than Jason Bay, Holliday's main competition in the corner outfield market this year, Boras says. Holliday helped Albert Pujols be more Pujolian in the second half of '08, Boras states. I'd link my source here but there were so many columns and articles and tweets written about the topic that it makes my head spin trying to pick one out.

The Super Agent, he is ubiquitous. His thoughts and quotes encompass a hotel lobby and propagate out the door, through the ether, and into our collective consciousness. The writers are our go-betweens. They know who butters their toast. Boras is merely a part of a cycle of news that we desire and he'll continue to be first on everyone's dance card as long as he controls the information...and the best players in the biz.

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So cynical. You forgot to stay gold, Ponyboy.

Get the name Albert Pujols, out yo mouf.

I love that Corey Patterson is a Boras client.

He represents the cream of the crop

and Corey.

Anyone in the city free to catch a 6pm screening of Sherlock Holmes with me tonight?

I know writers have a job to do, and that people are expecting to hear what Boras has to say, but that was dehumanizing.

I can't read about Scott Boras on anymore websites, so I will tell you a story instead: One time, when I still lived in NC, a bunch of old friends got together for some drinking and catching up. My buddy got all fucked up on pills and weed and beer and was slurring and stumbling around. I told him to go to sleep and that he was embarrassing himself. I told him he was no longer capable of rational thought. His response: "I'm fine thought. I'll prove 'em. I'll write a poem right here on the bed." He sat on the nearby couch and began writing while all of us went outside to smoke. When we came back inside, he was passed out, pen on the floor with a piece of paper that said: "This
is blue:

It's still the best poem I have ever read. Carry on.

That story is awesome.

Scott Boras likes the BCS, roots for the Yankees because they win a lot, and thinks Scar got a bum deal in the Lion King.

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